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'My mother is always scolding me...'

Dear Diana,
I am 19 and studying architecture. I am the only child and my father works in the Gulf. My mother is after me all the time. She keeps tabs on me and treats me like a kid. I have to constantly remind her that I am no longer a child, but a grown up guy. As my grandparents stay with us, when my mother is at work, my granny takes on the role of my mother. I find it irritating and disgusting. Often I just disappear and do not answer their phone calls and SMSes for hours. Then there is chaos and they get agitated. When I return home, things get heated up and I often give them a earful. Often calls are made to my father to tell him about my misbehaviour. Why can’t I be left alone and treated like an adult as my pals are? I am so fed up of things at home.
— Naveen

Dear Naveen,
You need to sit down with your mom and grandparents and sort out the issues. If you disappear for hours and do not respond to their phone calls, they have every right to be cross with you. You are sticking to your stance while they feel they are right. You need to find a middle path. As you are the only child and your dad is away, your mom might be overprotective about you. For a parent, whether the child is nine or 19 (as in your case), they will always remain protective. Instead of going on a warpath, strike a deal with them. Things would be better if you inform them about your whereabouts. Introduce them to your pals, so they will keep any fears and speculations at rest. You are doing your thing and perhaps they have no clue what is happening, so they get worried and worked up when you are not around. They want the best for you and do not want to make things difficult for you. Talk to them and sort out the differences for peace of mind for them as well as you.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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