'My mother is unaware of my dad's affair...'

Dear Diana,
My parents are in their late 40s. A month ago, I found out that my dad was having an affair with my mum's cousin. My mum thinks the world of her — sadly. I have spoken to my dad and I said it was wrong and too close to home. He said he would stop. He didn't as after a week, I caught him again. I confronted him and he asked for one more chance. He has now arranged to meet her again as he used my computer and did not log off and I saw all the details of their pending arrangement and how easily he and my aunt lie to my mum! I am disgusted by him and I know this will kill my mum if it comes out. At the same time, I feel awful that my mum does not know the truth and my dad is being unfaithful to her. My dad nor my aunt will tell her and I know that for sure. He is a coward. I think I should tell my mum, but she will be heartbroken. Am I doing the right thing?
— Nicky

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Nicky,
Tell your mother what you found out. Stick to the facts. Your mother has no clue and will be shocked, so break the news gently. There is no need for a confrontation initially as they will deny it. Get all the evidence in place and then break the news. As it is a family member, it will get even more difficult. Chances are that the family will be divided and some might me on your father's side and some on your mom's side. Stand by your mother's side like a rock. She will need all the support as she will be an emotional wreck. Also, you and your mother should not just walk away. This will be an easy way out for him. He is your father — it is his responsibility to care for you and your mum. Do not let him go off so easily. Let him realise that he is indulging in an extramarital affair and ruining yours and your mom's life.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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