Both my parents are old and need assistance to get through even the most basic of daily life activities. Accordingly, we have hired maids to take care of them. My mother is relatively better in health but my dad is a total disaster. On top of that, he is heavily dependent on alcohol and creates a scene in front of the kids. Though I don’t want to send him off to an old age home especially given my mom’s attachment to him but he’s leaving me little options left. I tried talking to him to no avail.
I can only say live and let live. At his age, it is difficult to change your old father. It might just make the situation even worse. Your kids are young, so they might not understand the situation. So it is up to you and your wife to explain that one day even you will grow old and behave perhaps exactly like your old dad. You also need lots of patience. I know often things will get uncomfortable but remember he is your dad after all. When you were young, perhaps there were occasions that you, too, got on his nerves! So live and let live.