'My wife is still in touch with her ex...'

Dear Diana,
Though my wife has not hid her past from me, I do not like the fact that she is still in touch with her ex. We have been married for four months. She was in a relationship with this guy who was her office colleague. They had an amicable split and have many friends in common. She had told me before our marriage about her ex and how he was just her buddy now. But this is proving to be difficult to digest for me. I feel she is cheating on me. I am hurt and upset. Should I leave her? I am more upset about how she carries on with her friendship with her former flame. They can get carried away any time and rekindle their romance. Can I trust my wife to not go astray?
— Bhavesh

Dear Bhavesh,
Your wife is not hiding anything from you. She is open about her friendship with her ex because there is nothing more to it. They may have had their reasons to go their ways, but they have remained friends. She had clearly told you everything before the marriage. At that time, you did not find anything amiss, but now you feel threatened. Why are you messing up your life? A relationship is based on trust. Your wife is happy in her space and not hiding anything from you, but you are unnecessarily creating a scene. She cares for you, and not for her ex. She has not wronged you. You need to trust her instead of assuming that the two are having a scene still. You should have a frank talk with her and tell her what is on your mind. If she cares for you, she might just stop communicating with this man. So be open and forthright like she is with you.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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