I married the girl I loved. Everything went smooth till I realised that my wife was still in touch with her ex-boyfriend
Dear Diana,
I married the girl I loved. Everything went smooth till I realised that my wife was still in touch with her ex-boyfriend. Before our wedding, she had told me that after college she was very friendly with a guy. They went around for two years and then drifted apart as he went to the US for higher studies and settled down there. She said she had lost touch with him and it was her past. I believed her as I was in love with her. And not for once did I have any doubts about her loyalty to me. But last month I happened to see her mobile bill (she pays her bills herself as she works part time in a chartered accountant's firm). I was shocked to see the number of international calls made on the itemised billing. I took down the number and called it. It was the US number of this same guy. I am shocked and shattered. How do I confront her? She has no clue yet and things are as they were all this while between us.
--u00a0JH
Dear JH,
I can understand your predicament. You have every right to feel cheated. If you confront her, she will deny it. If you tell her you went through her cell bills, she will tell you that you are an insecure and suspicious man. You will have to use tact and go about this in a calm manner (however difficult it will be for you). Casually one day ask her how she would react, if she stumbled upon a former love of yours.u00a0 How would she tackle the situation? I am sure that she will say she will be angry and cheated. Then tell her you will do the same if you, too, happen to be in a similar situation. See how she reacts. If she goes red in the face, tell her that you feel something is amiss. If she has any guilty feelings, she will let it out. If she does not, ask her that you have this strange feeling that something is amiss in your relationship. If she admits, tell her that what she has done is wrong as you blindly trusted her. If she asks for forgiveness and repents her act, it's fine but if she is adamant, you need to take a call on your relationship with her.
I am an only child...
Dear Diana,
I am a 14-year-old boy. I am the only child of my parents. An often asked question is: Do you have a brother or sister? When I say no, they look upon me with pity saying how lonely I am. But I am far from it. School, tutions and football keep me busy plus I have a great set of school and building friends. What makes these adults tell me all this?
--u00a0Cookie
Dear Cookie,
You are not the only person in the world to be a single child. In fact countries like China have enforced one child rule to contain the booming population. A person can feel lonely even when in a group. And there are cases when brothers and sisters are not even on talking terms due to issues between then. The next time someone asks, tell them you are happy to be single. And that you are so busy that you don't even have time to harbour such thoughts. So you are better left alone!
I feel attracted to this girl I met in Delhi
Dear Diana,
Last month, my cousin got married in New Delhi. We were part of a huge group that travelled from Mumbai for the wedding. Among the several guests at the ceremony, I got a chance to know a girl from the boy's side of the family. She is a distant relative of the groom and lives in Delhi. We enjoyed each other's company for three days as part of the wedding. She even gave me her email ID. I feel very attracted to her. What should I do?
--u00a0Rehan
Dear Rehan,
You have her email address. You have a topic to discuss. You have the wedding photos to share. So what are you waiting for? Send her an email talking about the marriage or share your experiences about your return journey to Mumbai. Or share an anecdote about one of the guests/relatives at the wedding. The first step is communication and then take it to the next level. But go about it slowly for the moment.
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