I work in a multinational company and I have to put in long hours at work. My wife chose to quit her job after our wedding since she thought one of us needs to take care of the house. However, I am constantly appalled at the way she keeps the house. It is always messy and sometimes downright dirty when I enter the home after a long day at work. I tried talking to her about the cleanliness and hygiene part, but she snaps back at me saying she doesn’t get enough time. But I see her lazing all the time. What do I do? Please help.
— Nishant Khare
Different people have different ideas about cleanliness and hygiene. Perhaps because of the way they have been brought up. You should have had a clear communication with your wife about her duties before marriage. Even now you can sit her down and explain to her about what you expect from her. Since you work hard to make sure that her financial needs are met, it is only fair that you expect her to work enough to keep you happy at home.
If she resists, how about hiring a maid to do the cleaning work? Not every woman can be expected to be house proud and take pride in sweeping and swabbing. Your wife might be having other hobbies. If hiring a maid is an extra financial burden you can put down certain basic rules gently to your wife. If she loves you enough, she is bound to bend a little.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012