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'My wife walked away with our kids....'

Dear Diana,
My wife and I went our ways three years ago. We are not officially divorced yet. She stays with our two kids at her father’s home. We had our share of differences and squabbles


Illustration/Amit Bandre

One day, she decided that she could not take it anymore and decided to walk away. It was awful, especially for our kids as they were too young. Now I miss having  a family and feel isolated. I live alone as my family is based in Indore. I meet our children once a month. Every time I go to drop them back, I end up being upset for days. It is not that I am a difficult person, but my wife has a big ego issue. Her parents did initially try to knock sense into her head, but they have given up now. She is employed and her mother looks after the kids. Now I have heard that there is another man on her scene, but till we are officially divorced, she can’t remarry. I feel if she remarries, it will make things even more umcomfortable for the kids. While others tell me there is no man in her life now.
— Aashish

Dear Aashish,
First of all you are reacting to hearsay. You have heard that there is someone on her scene while others tell you there is no one. So first get the right picture. Also, if you were having arguments, you should have tried to salvage the relationship at that time. May be you thought she would not resort to such a drastic step. It has been years that you have been separated. All these years you could have tried to salvage the marriage, but you did not. You miss having a family around, but what did you do to make it happen? Things are strained between you and your wife. It looks like she is not at all interested in you. You can make a last-ditch effort to have a conversation with her. If a reconciliation can happen, it is great or else you too need to move on, but make sure you can meet your kids as often as possible as you will always remain their father.

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