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Home > News > Opinion News > Article > Paunch tantra

Paunch-tantra

Updated on: 23 March,2011 08:38 AM IST  | 
Pathrikit Sen Gupta |

"Whoa! You've certainly crossed your feed limit. So, what are you going to do about it?"

Paunch-tantra


"Whoa! You've certainly crossed your feed limit. So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing. Stop staring at my guts! I am just working towards breaking the pound barrier."

"Dude, I know this wonderful yoga technique..."

"Yes, you've offered to show it to me before. Don't."

"Why don't you at least indulge in some sporting activity?"

"I'm watching the World Cup."

"So, who's your inspiration? Sehwag? Sachin? Yuvraj?"

"Dwayne Leverock actually. Remember the catch he took in 2007! Wow, it was really earth-shattering! Japan is like a mild aftershock compared to that."

"Cricket has had its Ranatungas, Boons, Warnes, Gattings etc. But give me the name of one fat athlete who's done well! And leave out Sumo wrestlers please."

"Damn! Well, Shaquille O'Neal, George Foreman, Babe Ruth..."

"Hmm, some things are worth the weight! OK, no body is perfect. But you know if you learn to keep your mouth shut when it matters, you might be able to ward off this eating problem."

"I don't have an eating problem. I do it all the time."

"You should get that patented. But I am telling you dude, overeating has heavy consequences. You need to practice some girth control."

"Fat chance of that happening."

"You can't give up dude. They say inside every fat guy there's a thin guy; in your case, perhaps more than one. Don't keep them waiting or they'll get digested."

"It was easier when we were younger. All you had to do to lose weight was take a bath. Of course I wasn't really the 'outgoing' type."

"For starters, putting down that plate of fries will help."

"This is starters. I will have a club sandwich and some orange juice next. I like to eat healthy."

"You are a growing threat to everyone around you. Exercise! Go to the gym!"

"I'll lose a few pounds there, definitely. Whenever I feel like exercising, I lie down and wait for the feeling to go away. Which reminds me..."

"OK, I'm leaving. I am not that attached to you despite your considerable gravitational pull. Adi s Pauncho!"



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