According to a Steven Pinker a psychology professor at Harvard University there are at least 1200 terms to describe the female genitalia (apparently his surname isn't one)
According to a Steven Pinker a psychology professor at Harvard University there are at least 1200 terms to describe the female genitalia (apparently his surname isn't one).
And it seems that the beauty industry has discovered that our appetite for all things vagina doesn't just stop at name calling. The list of treatments you can now have to tame and beautify your lady bits is staggering.
Once the vagina was the most private of body parts shrouded in mystery and only revealed to doctors or lovers. Now in the era of reality television, indiscreet celebrities and a more accessible porn industry the vagina is out andu00a0proud ufffd just not in its natural state. No, the new vagina is mostly hairless and embellished.
So if you feel your muff ain't up to snuff check out these trends in pubic fashion.
Vajayjay
First heard in an infamous scene in US television series Gray's Anatomy when a character shouts out 'stop looking at my Vajayjay!' The word was quickly adopted by the American media and one of it's biggest fans is Oprah Winfrey who often uses the word on her show. "I think vajayjay is a nice word, don't you?" she has asked her audience.
VaJazzle
This is the word that describes the sticking of small crystals in a pretty pattern to your pubic area after it has been waxed. Having 'Swarkovski Elements' stuck to my recently waxed vajayjay brings to mind the words 'salt' and 'wound' but the treatment has many fans including that bright spark Jennifer Love Hewitt. 'After a break-up, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady and it shined (sic) like a disco ball...'
Vatooing or Twatooing
This is a temporary tattoo that is sprayed on to your hairless mound and lasts seven days if you avoid friction. The possibilities are endless, favourite designs include the number 69, love hearts and worryingly, dollar signs. Helpfully they provide you with glow in the dark vatoos for any confused lovers out there.
Vajacial
A series of skin treatments specifically for the waxed pubic area. Apparently having rid yourself of all that unsightly hair you are at risk from ingrown hairs and infected hair follicles. The vajacial is a four step treatment. Firstly skin is cleansed with an antibacterial body wash, then an exfoliating gel goes on followed by an anti-acne calming mask. The final step is an application of lightening cream to even out skin tone.
Colour
Betty Beauty is the name of a hair dye for your pubic hair. The makers say it solves a number of age old dilemmas on the pubic hair front like concealing grey hair or matching with head hair. But their main selling point is fun. They do a bridal blue for your big day or a hot pink to surprise a lover. Their newest colour is green in case you get lucky on St Patrick's day. Packs come with stencils for shaping your lady garden into pertinent motifs.
My New Pink Button
This next innovation might have you pondering where the quest for youthfulness will take us ladies next. Are your labia looking a little dreary? Have they lost their youthful glow? Well fear not My New Pink Button is a firm with the remedy to genital colour loss! It happily claims to be 'a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink colour back to your labia.' It comes in four shades and promises to 'bring out the sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look.' The site is worth a visit just to read the hysterical customer reviews.
Bleaching
Once, this was a treatment only popular with those hard-working gals of the porn industry. But with the help of the Internet people can now buy 'intimate area' bleaching creams without embarrassment and liven up their labia in the privacy of their own homes. One of the safest and most popular creams, South Beach Skin Solutions promises to help you look your best everywhere. It is used in many American salons and has the immortal tag line 'Is your wink pink?'
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