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Home > Entertainment News > Bollywood News > Article > Planters paradise

Planter's paradise

Updated on: 22 July,2010 07:08 AM IST  | 
Hemal Ashar | hemal@mid-day.com

We have a jolly good time seeding the ideas we'd like sown in our stars' heads, a la Inception

Planter's paradise

We have a jolly good time seeding the ideas we'd like sown in our stars' heads, a la Inception






Dreamer: Salman Khan
Planter: His friends and family.
What: The planters must tell Sallu to stop shedding his shirt and look at shedding his single status. It is time he got married now that Kat has moved on. They can also egg on Mr Controversial saying that it has been a long time since Bollywood saw a big shaadi (the curtain fell on the Abhi-Ash wedding drama long ago) and it is time large-hearted Salman gave Mumbai something to talk about.


Dreamer: Shah Rukh Khan
Planter: Khan Fan Club!
What: The unique fan club needs to put an idea in his head that Salman Khan is not a bad guy. Two buddy-buddies fighting over a woman who is married to somebody else? That's the stuff movie scripts -- which bomb at the box office -- are made of; not real life. So Bandra boys, stop being katti, she already has a pati and start going from Ash to bashes together.


Dreamer: Karan Johar
Planter: Aam Aadmi.
What: The people who watch his movies (ordinary folk) must make him believe that it is okay if he makes films with actors other than Shah Rukh Khan. KJo's SRK-obsession needs to crumble -- maybe his new bonding with Aamir Khan will give him some new ideas. Maybe, My Name Is Khan And I Am Not A Terrorist Part II with the new Khan dost -- Aamir?


Dreamer: Shahid Kapoor
Planter: All his ex-girlfriends.
What: Shahid's former gal pals must open up that head of his and remove his fuddy-duddy I-am-20-something-going- on-80 brain and replace it with a young man's brain. Maybe, then Sasha will understand the meaning of being spontaneous, look less serious (like the world and its problems are weighing down on him). Jive to Mambo No 5. 'A little bit of Kareena in my life, a little bit of Priyanka by my side...'


Dreamer: Priyanka Chopra
Planter: All the single girls.
What: They need to plant an idea in her head that it is okay to talk about the presence of a man in her life without going into the gory details. Piggy Chops must know it is perfectly fine to admit that she is with Shahid Kapoor and how being in love is great. Let us not hear the familiar 'Oooh, there is no one' or even the archaic 'We are just good friends' (does anybody even say that any more?).


Dreamer: John Abraham
Planter: Disgruntled fan.
What: Johnny Big Bucks needs to realise that money is not everything. He has managed to chase off all good filmmakers by quoting figures bigger than his biceps. He should accept that he isn't the best judge on what films he should do, as three of his pet projects remain unreleased. Get a good manager, John. You will get good films and improve your media relations. Dono ek hi shot mein.u00a0


Dreamer: Hrithik Roshan
Planter: Well-wishers.
What: They must plant an idea in his head to go back to being a good boy. Hrithik can do with a brain transplant and take Shahid's serious brain. The once-upon-a-time good boy is now seriously tripping on wine, women and what-not. Roshan Jr has also turned a deaf ear to papa Rakesh Roshan who made him the star that he is. He is flying like a 'Kite' and needs to be reeled in.


Dreamer:u00a0 Deepika Padukone
Planter: Prakash Padukone.
What: Papa Padukone has got it into her head that it is time she left acting and moved on to a badminton court. With Saina Nehwal becoming World No 2, there's no reason apni Dippy would be unable to achieve her dreams. The endorsements would come too. So, Deepika should put down the movie script and take the shuttle to another kind of success.


Dreamer: Katrina Kaif
Planter: Kareena Kapoor.
What: Katrina is the only one standing between Bebo and the number one position, so the Kapoor girl wants Katrina to 'dream' of a better life back home in London/Hawaii or wherever it is she came from -- leaving Bolly-wood forever and going back to her roots. Bebo might even buy her the one-way ticket.


Dreamer: Kareena Kapoor
Planter: Katrina Kaif.
What: Kat wants Bebo to stop looking at her as an outsider and be her best friend. The KKs have so much in common like age, initials, being approached for the same roles and endorsements and also have a 'Khan' each in their life. When they become BFFs, imagine the trouble they could make for Priyanka.


Dreamer: Aishwarya Rai
Planter: Disgruntled filmmaker.
What: That she needs to concentrate on B-Town. She has flirted with the West and the South (Raavan, Robot) so Ash, the time is 'Abhi' (pun intended) that you need to stop looking elsewhere and come back to make a film that 'shek's (pun intended) up the B-Town world.


Dreamer: Sonam Kapoor
Planter: The Fashion Week organisers.
What: Fashion denizens would plant an idea into Sonam's head that she has what it takes to be a top-notch supermodel and is being wasted in films. What with all the Indian and international fashion houses wanting her to walk the ramp for them and Papa Anil making (ahem!) waves in LA, the Kapoor beti can make a noise in the fashion capital of the worldu00a0-- Paris.

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