So, it's been one of those weeks.
Justin Bieber 'choppered' his way into the DY Patil stadium in Navi Mumbai. Armed with a Jacuzzi and many dancers.
But, the real rumours making the rounds weren't about the 'show sharaba' but "Where were the 10 crisp white handkerchiefs he demanded?" Because all that the Beliebers in the audience could see was a small napkin-cum-hand towel strung over the pop star's shoulder, making him seem more like J. Balasubramaniam, Head Waiter, Thangamma Idli House, rather than Justin Bieber, teen idol.
Apparently, he didn't even sing live, but was lip synced - with Sonakshi Sinha's voice - the millennials screamed anyway. An insider said, "Of the 40,000 people in the audience, 20,000 were SoBo-ites who had left Breach Candy/Peddar road on Sunday to make the show by Wednesday evening."
In Bollywood news, Ram Gopal Varma, after many years in the wilderness is back with a bang - (RGV is the M. Night Shyamalan of Hindi Cinema - a first landmark movie, followed by years of mostly rubbish). But, the Satya director wants to make a biopic on Bruce Lee (he once said that he loves the martial arts icon more than sex). He's planning on casting Jackie Shroff's son - the film is to be called Enter The Tiger. Ang Lee (no relation of Bruce) has already bought the rights, for a Chinese remake to be titled ,'Crouching Peking -Duck Hidden Manchurian Prawns'.
Also this Friday, the Indian remake of Godfather 3, Sarkar 3 opened, with much fanfare - with the Big B reprising his role of Shankar Nagre.
Ramuji is said to have tweeted, "Sarkar without Bachchan is like 'doodh' without milk."
I'm thoda confused -
1. Doodh is the Hindi word for milk, so what do you mean?
2. Bachchan is Sarkar so what is the metaphor?
3. I could've understood if you'd said, Sarkar without Bachchan is like 'chai without doodh'.
Anyway, dear reader, you get my point na?
Then, there's the cottage industry of political establishments, the Aam Aadmi Party getting into mess after mess, with the way things have been happening to Shri Kejriwal makes Rahul Gandhi seem like Winston Churchill, in successful statesmanship.
A sacked Aam Aadmi minister, Kapil Mishra claims he saw the AAP chief take a R2 crore bribe from one Satyendra Jain. I have a few pertinent queries -
1. Was it cash or cheque? If it was cash, how do you know it was exactly R2 crore and not half that amount? Did you see a largish suitcase changing hands? Or massive sacks? Not easy to carry that amount of remonetised cash around, na Mishraji.
2. If it was cheque, did you see the 'To Arvind Kejriwal'. Pay R2,ooo,ooo,ooo. And, was it indeed Mr Jain's signature?
Plus a bribe in white money is an oxymoron.
And, finally, Arnab, who now looks like a character out of Sarkar 3 is back on TV with his channel. Republic –
What do I think of Mr Goswami’s return?
I wish that he could be lip synced. With Justin Bieber’s voice. Better still, Beyonce.
Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at email@example.com