Dressed in traditional Thobe and Hijabs, 150 men and women listened intently as educationist Dawood Vaid evoked phrases from the Kuran and hadith to draw parallels between the its teachings and marital relationships. In a room packed tight with mostly women, the daylong event, ‘Men and from Makkah’, Women are from Madina’ at Country Club, Andheri, threw light on the complicated nature of relationships. Vaid, CEO and founder of Burooj Realization, a Nerul based Islamic education foundation, said, “Men and women are very different, their expectations are different, their wants and needs are different and their natures, specially are very different. Through this program, we are attempting to bridge that gap and make marital relationships stronger.”
Dawood Vaid speaks to the couples at the workshop, ‘Men are from Makkah, women are from Madina’ on Sunday. Pic/Datta Kumbhar
The day long interactive session drew from the Hadith of Umm ‘Zar, where A’isha reported that (one day) there sat together eleven women making an explicit promise amongst themselves that they would conceal nothing about their spouses. Based on the tories of the 11 women, Vaid drew parallels in modern relationships.
“If you don’t drive, explore, have a social circle outside of your husband’s friends, then you become over dependent on your husband, which no spouse likes,” Vaid told the women, while urging men to let go of stereotypes and preconceived notions about their wives.
With a diverse audience including singles, couples, entrepreneurs to home makers, each time Vaid busted stereotypes, it was met with thunderous applause and cheers from the back of the room, where the women sat.
“In the Koran, Makkah is a barren land and known for its tough terrain. Medina, on the other hand, is greener, softer, much like the personalities of men and women,” says Vaid, explaining the idea behind the title of the workshop.
“The name didn’t go down well with some people, though!” added Vaid, smiling.
While topics such as space, time and communication between spouses was discussed at length, community specific issues like talaq (divorce) were also touched upon. “The biggest problem in tale is the anger that men keep bottled inside. In rage, the male ego gets even bigger, which leads to a rocky relationship,” said Vaid, emphasizing that for every person, God should come first, followed by their spouse and then the children.
“The impact of divorce is the most on children. You can not become great parents, if you are not good spouses,” said Israel Spayed, head of the foundation’s schooling section.
Fatima Big (32) one of the participants said, “This is a unique experience for us. Every relationship is complicated, but after this, we know how to handle problems better,” she said.
In between the sessions, Vaid kept the audience the entertained, as he urged the older married couples for their pearls of wisdom.