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Life coach in partnership with Tinder India shares a dating guide for introverts

Young dating individuals value authenticity and honesty - and introverts are certainly not shy when it comes to being real on their Tinder bios. The term "introvert" appears 33 percent more than “extrovert” in Tinder bios. To support more reserved dating individuals to put themselves out there, the dating app has developed this introvert dating guide in partnership with Dr Chandni Tugnait, Life Coach and Relationship Expert. Introverts VS extroverts on Tinder Introverted Tinder users are 40 percent more likely than extroverts to say they are still figuring out their relationship goals. Introverts tend to take their time to get to know someone, both in friendships and in relationships. They often don't like to reveal too much personal information about themselves to new acquaintances either. So why do introverts share their personality type so much more in their Tinder bios? Dr Chandni explains that “Introverts often find that their introversion is not adequately taken into account and respected, which leads to a greater need for attention to this personality trait. Adding their personality type in a dating profile can provide a sense of security and counteract possible misunderstandings, as introversion and reticence can be misinterpreted as disinterest or arrogance." Overall, introverts are 15 percent more likely to seek friendships on the app than extroverted users. According to Dr Chandni Tugnait, introverts usually take longer to open up and confide in new people in their lives and take longer to build relationships and bonds with others. In return, however, these relationships tend to be deeper and more stable. If an introvert moves to a new city, for example, Tinder can help them meet new people and build their social circle. What about after the match? Introverts often like lengthy, in-depth conversations - and they prefer to have them in the form of long, well-thought-out messages. Data shows that introverts on the app are 24 percent more likely than extroverts to be "big-time texters". In Dr Chandni’s opinion, getting to know someone on the app over an extended period is not a waste of time, but a great way for introverts to properly assess their match on safe ground before meeting IRL. Extroverts often prefer faster over-the-phone or face-to-face exchanges. They are more than twice as likely (+60 percent ) as introverted dating individuals to say they like talking on the phone. 4 reasons why Dr Chandni Tugnait recommends introverts: The first steps of getting to know someone are easier in the app. You can formulate your messages in peace, you don't have to sit directly across from your date, and if you share a few exciting facts about yourself in your bio, you can create a good basis for conversation and avoid awkward small talk. Online dating offers the opportunity to get to know each other more slowly. It can create a basis for deeper relationships, not just superficial ones. According to Dr Chandni, this slower form of getting to know someone online is healthier because introverts are not as likely to be driven by their hormones and are less likely to see their match through rose-coloured glasses. This may also help you recognize red flags better! Tinder matches can be a good exercise in overcoming your typical dating hurdles and developing a routine of sorts. Even if it doesn’t work out with someone, you can still take something away from the encounter for the future and learn from it. Did you hit it off with your match? Great, because meaningful relationships and positive encounters with others can boost your confidence - you get feedback and compliments from others, your strengths are mirrored and you can learn that others like you just the way you are. 5 tips to overcome the typical hurdles in (online) dating: Don't pretend just so someone will like you. Always be yourself! Social media gives the impression that we should all always be active and lead the most colourful and "Instagrammable" life possible. But that's not always true, you can and should always be yourself - then you'll find someone who likes you for you. Be clear about what you like and don't like - for example, if your match suggests a big event for your first date, but you would actually feel much more comfortable in a more low-key setting, communicate this clearly from the start and stand up for your needs. If you're worried about topics of conversation, think about open-ended questions - i.e., not yes/no questions - to ask your counterpart in advance. What would you like to know about your match? What has made them interesting to you so far? This will get the conversation rolling because we all usually like to talk about ourselves. Try not to cancel dates at the last minute. In psychology, unless there is a genuine reason, this is called "avoidance behaviour" - and it only reinforces your insecurities. Even if it takes effort and you have to leave your comfort zone, it's worth facing your fears. The keyword here is also: Practice, practice, practice! Remember that safety comes first URL and IRL and there are plenty of safety tools available to you on the app. Collect experiences and reflect on them: On which dates did you feel good and why? What was the reason, and what were the decisive factors for you to like a date? Was it the location, the activity, or a certain topic that was talked about? How can you use this knowledge to get the most out of upcoming dates? And last but not least, think about a fixed ritual or routine that you do every time before a date. Because rituals have a positive effect on our well-being and can convey security. These can be quite banal things, such as a soothing shower and taking time for styling. But a certain song that gives you good vibes or a phone call with a friend can also help. There are no limits to your imagination - find something that makes you feel good, calms you down and takes away some of those pre-date nerves. This story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed, agencies. Mid-day accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability, trustworthiness, reliability and data of the text. Mid-day management/mid-day.com reserves the sole right to alter, delete or remove (without notice) the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever.

29 March,2024 03:02 PM IST | New Delhi | IANS
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What's your kink? BDSM and role-playing hold universal appeal reveals a study

Most people won’t like to admit it, but sexual kinks are pretty common. While we are in an era where openness and authenticity are paramount, there still seems to be a certain taboo circling conversations around kinky relationships. Dating app happn, conducted a study to explore how comfortable Indian singles are about their kinks and pleasure. Let's reveal the saucy side of Indian singles. Comfort levels in discussing kinks The survey brings to light a fascinating spectrum of comfort levels among users when it comes to discussing their kink preferences. Surprisingly, the 35+ age group leads the pack, with an impressive 68 per cent expressing an ease in navigating kink conversations. In contrast, Gen Z women present a unique perspective, with a staggering 83 per cent stating they need time for such discussions and zero per cent feeling comfortable broaching the topic of dating apps. This showcases how conversations around exploring kink-friendly relationships require real-life and open communication, especially when you’re just starting to explore. Also Read: Jab ‘they’ met: What to do when you run into your ex? Most popular kinks in India Across all age groups, the survey unveils numerous kinks, with BDSM and role-playing holding universal appeal. The mature age groups (35+) show a heightened interest in humiliation and fetishism, while food-related kinks gain popularity among younger respondents (18-25). Role-playing finds enthusiasts across regions, particularly in the South-West (51 per cent) and Central (44 per cent) of India, with the North-East (20 per cent) and South-East (31 per cent) demonstrating a penchant for BDSM. Also Read: Love gurus share tips to flirt like a pro and charm your special someone Reasons for seeking kink-friendly relationships The primary reasons for seeking kink-friendly relationships vary among age groups. 35-40-year-olds place greater emphasis on building deeper intimacy, while Gen Z leans towards exploring new experiences. Regional disparities also emerge, with South-West India standing out at 75 per cent, feeling very comfortable discussing kink preferences. The Northern regions lag slightly behind at 56 per cent. The South-East (70 per cent) and North-West (60 per cent) regions of India are leading the way in seeking kink-friendly relationships. They are eager for new, intimate experiences. Eastern India (36 per cent) emphasises deeper intimacy, while the South-West (47 per cent) wants to fulfil specific fantasies instead of adopting kinks as a lifestyle. Importance of finding a partner with shared kinks The significance of finding a partner with shared kink interests resonates strongly among the 35+ age group, with 65 per cent deeming it "very important." Meanwhile, Gen Z also considers it important but less significant than the older age groups, as 50 per cent of them are neutral about it. The Central region (64 per cent) emerges as a hotspot for emphasising shared kink-friendly interests. Also Read: 'I thought I was the problem,' Why some people find it difficult to end a toxic relationship Red Flags in Kink-Friendly Relationships Lack of respect for boundaries emerges as a consistent concern, resonating across all demographics. Disregarding safe practices is notably significant among the 35+ age group. At the same time, according to the survey respondents stress the importance of discussing limits and interests and express wariness of pressure to engage in activities without consent. Regionally, concerns about lack of respect for boundaries intensified in the North-East (37 per cent) and Central-South (36 per cent), while the Central (38 per cent) and South-East (30 per cent) regions expressed concerns about their partner not asking for consent while indulging in a kinky experience. There's a resounding consensus that kink is becoming more normalised in the dating space, with approximately 40 per cent agreement across all age groups. However, a considerable portion, especially in the 35+ age group, still views it with hesitance and stigma. Gen Z challenges the norm, wanting to normalise pleasure discussions. Despite this shift, it's essential to recognise that healthy discussions around kinks while dating should always prioritise the comfort and consent of both partners. Also Read: Why some women don't find sex toys pleasurable: Unpacking the reasons This story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed, agencies. Mid-day accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability, trustworthiness, reliability and data of the text. Mid-day management/mid-day.com reserves the sole right to alter, delete or remove (without notice) the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever.

18 March,2024 02:26 PM IST | Mumbai | IANS
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Online flirting has become a common way of infidelity in the digital age

An emotionally charged issue, infidelity has long been the focus of close examination. Over time, the dynamics surrounding it have changed, making it more difficult to distinguish between personal preferences and societal norms. Gleeden, a women-led discreet dating app, carried out a ground-breaking study on India's changing attitudes about marriage, infidelity, and cultural norms. To explore the complexities, 1503 married Indians from Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities between the ages of 25 and 50 were polled for the study. In addition to illuminating the shifting terrain, the results called into question accepted beliefs about faithfulness and love. The study discovered a notable change in how Indian society views relationships. An increasing number of couples are embracing a new concept of relationships that allows for flexibility in exploring sexuality, rejecting the traditional constraints of monogamous partnerships. In contrast to popular belief, the study found that more than 60 per cent of Indians have tried out non-traditional dating strategies, such as swinging. Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager of Gleeden, India asserts, "The Survey offers a fascinating window into the intricate realm of contemporary Indian relationships. It questions accepted wisdom and calls on society to consider the changing nature of love, commitment, and the quest for personal fulfilment. It also reflects the country's acceptance of individuality and personal autonomy. This viewpoint not only defies conventional wisdom and presents Indians as bold but also themes of love and self-expression.” The report underscores three major significant findings that characterise infidelity: Swingin' alone, yet not inside the box of relationships: There are many different ways to exhibit infidelity, and this study explores the subtleties of these ways. The focus shifted to platonic partnerships that involved passionate moments with someone other than the current spouse and were not part of an established couple. Remarkably, the survey discovered that 46 per cent of males tend to seek out these kinds of relationships, with differences among locations, including a noteworthy 52 per cent in Kolkata. When virtual connections meet prohibited temptations: Online flirtation has become a common way of being unfaithful in the digital age. According to the report, 36 per cent of women and 35 per cent of men find virtual flirting appealing. There are clear regional differences in this behaviour, with 35 per cent of respondents from Kochi exhibiting it. Dreaming of joyful decorruption: It became common and relatively innocuous to have fantasies about someone other than one's partner. According to the data, 33 per cent of men and 35 per cent of women have freely said that they have fantasies about someone other than their partners. Regional differences in behaviour, as those between Jaipur (28 per cent), and Ludhiana (37 per cent) provide fascinating insights into the various viewpoints on this facet of infidelity.

13 March,2024 12:27 AM IST | Mumbai | IANS
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Indian men and women say age is a factor when it comes to dating Study

In the quest to find the perfect match, age does factor in, says 7 out of 10 people participating in a comprehensive consumer study by Indian dating app, QuackQuack. The online research saw 13,000 men and women take part in it from almost all tiers; most are working professionals and business owners, and a group of the respondents are students. The highest number of individuals hailed from metros like Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore, and Hyderabad and smaller cities like Nagpur, Jaipur, Bhopal, and Indore. The participants ranged between 22 and 50. QuackQuack's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented, "While we see a lot of couples matching despite the unusual differences in their age, a lot more users skip potential perfect matches because of the same reason. The age-related stereotypes are changing, and thankfully so, but we still have a long way to go." The seniorsWhile the app saw a surge in the number of seniors joining the dating club, there are still some hindrances that this group faces that the younger generation doesn't, according to the study. 36 percent of users between the ages of 40 and 50 revealed that they struggle more to find a compatible match than anyone below 35. They went ahead to say that there have been instances where the compatibility was off the charts, but they were rejected based on age. 41 percent of women from this age group explained how it is worse for women than for men. Age preferenceThe findings of the study revealed that 45 percent of men exhibit a preference for women either younger or of a similar age to them, while 55 percent of women tend to match with men older than themselves. Additionally, it was observed that the ideal age gap for both men and women hovers around three to five years. Examining preferences across different city tiers, about 33 percent of women in Tier 1 cities expressed more openness to dating younger men, and conversely, a similar percentage of men in Tier 1 cities were open to dating older women. However, Tier 2 and Tier 3 cities displayed a more rigid outlook concerning age factors in dating, suggesting a split in dating preferences based on geographical locations and cultural nuances. Evolution of dating norms across age groupsA significant 45 percent of participants, both male and female, aged between 20 and 26, expressed a desire for a more open-ended approach to dating. Rather than seeking a predetermined outcome, they are inclined towards experiencing love, navigating the intricacies of relationships, and ultimately determining if a lifelong commitment is in the cards. In contrast, those in the 30 to 40 age bracket are actively pursuing a life partner, showing a readiness to settle down. The survey showed 19 percent of the younger age group cited this relaxed approach as a key reason for their preference to date within a similar age range. The older demographic, aged 30 to 40, demonstrates a more decisive and goal-oriented approach in their pursuit of a partner, while their younger counterparts tend to adopt a more easygoing stance. Age-related stereotypes32 percent of female users above 40 from Tier 2 and 3 expressed concerns about the societal pressures and judgments associated with dating in the later stages of life. Within this demographic, 26 percent highlighted the perception that engaging in dating automatically implies a readiness for marriage, a stereotype they find limiting; 11 percent also complained about how people instantly tag them as indecisive because they believe dating is casually exploring your options without the headache of commitment, especially in smaller cities. Success stories17 percent of men from Tier 1 and 2 cities are dating women older than them. The appeal lies in the maturity, kindness, and overall life stability that these women bring to the table. Conversely, 15 percent of women admitted to dating younger men at some point, yet only 8 percent reported sustaining a long-term relationship. The main challenge cited was a disparity in attitudes towards life and shared interests. This reveals that while initial attractions may exist, navigating the complexities of a lasting connection proves to be a nuanced challenge when age differences come into play. This story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed, agencies. Mid-day accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability, trustworthiness, reliability and data of the text. Mid-day management/mid-day.com reserves the sole right to alter, delete or remove (without notice) the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever

05 March,2024 09:28 AM IST | New Delhi | IANS
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Tinder partners with Yuvaa, introduces online course on consent for young adults

Online dating app Tinder has launched a first-of-its-kind, online self-learning course, Let’s Talk Consent, focused on interpersonal consent in partnership with Yuvaa.  The course builds on Tinder's 'Let's Talk Consent' initiative, launched in 2021, which helped address the complexities of consent in relationships amongst young Indian adults. Over the last three years, Tinder has launched a readily accessible resource center, short films like 'Closure' and 'We Need To Talk,' and in-person consent and safe dating workshops for college students across 3 cities in India.  Created by Yuvaa, a youth media organization in India, and available on Coursera, one of the global online learning platforms, this course provides reliable and authentic guidance about interpersonal consent to young adults in India. The educational initiative is a step forward in facilitating learning about consent and safe dating as young adults in India begin their dating journey early on.  Also Read: Love gurus share tips to flirt like a pro and charm your special someone Here are a few insights from a 2022 survey in the country that revealed, 65 per cent of young adults took steps to personally understand the concept of consent. Six in 10 young adults were seeking more resources and safe spaces (both physical and online) on consent.  67 per cent of young adults advocated for the integration of comprehensive consent education in schools and colleges. Also Read: How to know if you are ready for a serious relationship “At Yuvaa, we meet tens of thousands of young people across India every year and dating and intimacy are among the topics they find hardest to speak about and navigate. Boundaries and consent are so personal but also so important - and with our collaborative effort on the Safe Dating Curriculum launched last year with Tinder, we have tried to take the conversation around consent directly to Gen Z in a way that they understand and resonate with. Now, this new online course provides practical strategies for both online and real-life interactions, emphasising safety, open communication, and mutual respect for personal boundaries,” said Kevin Lee, CEO, Yuvaa. “Tinder has been one of the first dating apps in the online dating journey for countless young adults which makes it very important for us to support those dating to form healthy relationships from the outset. Consent has always been at Tinder’s core, starting with mutual matching, which requires both users to express interest before chatting, as well as our suite of trust and safety features. We reinforce these efforts through local educational initiatives such as 'Let's Talk Consent’. Collaborations with organisations like Yuvaa allow us to provide reliable information and guidance, empowering Tinder users to navigate dating with confidence and respect,” says Aahana Dhar, director of communications in India, Tinder. Also Read: Jab ‘they’ met: What to do when you run into your ex? This 90-minute multimedia course utilises surveys, assignments, and real-life examples to offer a nuanced understanding of consent in everyday situations. Five  modules within the course cover: •    Understanding consent in interpersonal relationships.•    Setting and enforcing personal boundaries.•    Recognising signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships via red, green and grey flags.•    Navigating online and offline interactions with safety and respect The Let's Talk Consent course is now available for enrollment on the Coursera website, and interested individuals can sign up to access the course at no cost. 

04 March,2024 02:48 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
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Tinder launches 'Know Your Love Style' feature

Dating app Tinder has launched 'Know Your Love Style' feature to allow users to select their language of affection. In collaboration with Gen Z romance author Nona Uppal, this campaign encourages young singles to discover their unique styles of love. Notably, in the run up to Valentine’s Day last year, The app experienced a 10 per cent surge in overall matches compared to an average day. It recently unveiled its Love Style feature, allowing users to select their preferred language of affection—be it compliments, thoughtful gestures, time together, presents, or touch—to showcase on their profiles. Love Styles, a feature on Tinder, allows users to express their preferences and connect with others who share similar love languages. Tinder has witnessed a remarkable 50 per cent year-over-year increase in Tinder users mentioning 'love languages' in their bios. Furthermore, an overwhelming 82 per cent of Tinder users consider it crucial to understand their matches' 'Love Style' early on in the dating process.  Aahana Dhar, Tinder’s communications director in India says, "Gen Z is rewriting the rules of dating, and 'Time Together' has emerged as the preferred love style of 50 per cent of young singles, both globally and in India, over other love styles, indicating the value this generation places on shared moments and the authenticity that defines their approach to meaningful connections. At Tinder, we encourage Tinder users to embrace and add their love style in their profiles and discover new ways to connect with their matches.” A ‘Know Your Love Style’ quiz, developed by Nona, will be displayed to Tinder users in India between February 13 and 29 as cards they can click into to take a fun and easy quiz and discover their love language to proudly display it on their profile. Author Nona Uppal elaborated, “Gen Z approaches dating with a thoughtful mindset, engaging in important conversations early on. Embracing Love Styles as a vital aspect of finding a romantic partner aligns with this transparency. It's like laying your cards on the table, unapologetically. Knowing exactly how you want to be loved minimises uncertainty, making Tinder's encouragement for young Indians to choose their unique Love Styles for meaningful connections brilliant.” To help singles understand their Tinder match’s love style, Uppal shares insights and exciting date ideas tailored to each love style. Time Together: If their love style is Time Together, they eagerly anticipate one-on-one plans. Whether it's virtual game nights, or binge-watching their favorite shows together, it's all about creating epic shared experiences and building deep connections. Thoughtful Gestures: This love style is all about showing your date that they live rent-free in your thoughts. Making them feel cherished and remembered with a heartfelt text, a virtual doodle, or a funny meme will leave a lasting impression. Presents: If they are the type who love to receive gifts, let your presents speak volumes! Whether it's a customised playlist, a surprise meal delivery, or a personalised K-pop band t-shirt, show your affection through thoughtful gifts. Touch: If hand-holding, hugs, and cuddles are their thing, touch is probably their love style. Even without words, your touch says it all which lets your Tinder match know that they're on your mind. Plan a cozy outdoor picnic or a romantic beach stroll, but always respect boundaries and ensure your date is comfortable with your affectionate gestures. Compliments: If compliments are their love style, they would expect you to notice and appreciate the little things! Consider creating a scrapbook filled with cherished memories or simply take a moment to verbally express your admiration for your Tinder date's unique qualities. Authenticity is key.  

29 February,2024 09:04 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
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Mid-Day Premium Jab ‘they’ met: What to do when you run into your ex?

B-town love stories and break-ups have always intrigued Bollywood fans. Recently, videos of Bebo walking past her ex-boyfriend Shahid Kapoor went viral. The paparazzi videos show Kareen Kapoor on the red carpet of the Dadasaheb Phalke International Film Festival Awards (DPIFF) 2024, greeting director Raj who was posing with Shahid Kapoor. While Shahid smiled graciously, Kareena simply walked. Whether or not this was intentional, one won’t know for sure. However, it stirred up conversations, funny and critical. Mid-day.com decided to dive deeper into the subject and spoke to relationship gurus asking them what one must do if they run into their ex.   “For many, running into an ex, even if they ended things on good terms, can still be awkward because it brings back memories and emotions. Such situations are difficult because they can stir up feelings of nostalgia, regret, or even uncertainty about how to act,” says Hitesh Chakraworty, relationship expert and coach, spiritual healer, author of ‘Decoding the Mystery Behind 3, 6 and 9’ and founder of ISSAR. Ruchi Ruuh (@therapywithruchi), relationship expert and therapist says, “Facing an ex-partner is even more difficult especially if you have not been in touch with them after the break up.” According to her, running into an ex will always be a bit awkward. It might also lead to people thinking, ‘How does my ex feel about me now?’, ‘Am I still vulnerable?’, ‘Will my feelings for my ex resurface?’, or ‘Was this break-up a mistake.’  Ignoring ex can be a sign of residual feelings“That can be one possibility, but it might not always be the case,” says Ruuh. For some, ignoring their ex can be a way to respect their boundaries. Some might also feel uncomfortable or awkward and thus ignore them. Ruuh adds, “Many times, people get sad looking at their ex or feel jealous seeing how much they have progressed and choose to not acknowledge them.” Further, she says, “If one parted ways on a negative note, they probably don’t want to agitate or irritate them or trigger emotions again.” Sometimes, an encounter with an ex at a social event can open doors to speculation by people who know you. “This creates a lot of pressure on the exes to behave in a certain way. Sometimes you don't want to give too much information to people. Some do interact in private settings. However, in a more social setting, some wish to keep it low.”  Ruuh says, “There's no sure shot way again to say if it's right or wrong to ignore your partner because each person has a very different way of dealing with the breakup even long after it's done. All of this also depends on how you broke up, and how the relationship was after that.” “However,”  Chakraworty states, ‘if you find yourself constantly being unable to interact with them without feeling emotional or if thoughts of them linger long after the encounter, it might be a sign that you still have unresolved feelings. This depends from person to person.” SEE PHOTOS: Casual or serious relationship: Tips to make the right choice Reflecting on your emotionsRuuh stresses the importance of understanding your emotions and processing your feelings. “It is important to process the separation. This will help in reminding you why you ended things with your ex. It will make you realise how far you have come and how much you have healed. This sort of emotional clarity can help you prepare for times when you run into your ex.”  Further, she states that it is important to look at an ex-partner as just another person instead of looking at him as someone you broke up with. “Treat them with grace even if you ended things with them on an unpleasant note. You must know that they are human too, and even if you are hurting, disrespecting them is no way to treat them.”  “If at all you happen to have an unexpected encounter with them in public or social spaces, stay focused in the present moment and don’t allow yourself to bring incidents from the past. Take a deep breath and remind yourself you can deal with this maturely. There is no harm in being cordial.”  Chakraworty adds, “It's okay to acknowledge an ex-partner when you run into them, but whether you choose to engage further depends on your comfort level and the circumstances. If you feel it's best to keep your distance to avoid any potential discomfort or drama, that's perfectly acceptable. Remember to prioritise your well-being in such situations, and don't feel pressured to engage beyond what feels comfortable for you.”  Preparing yourself in advanceAccording to Chakraworty, preparing yourself in advance can help ease the tension of unexpected encounters. He says, “You can mentally rehearse how you'll respond, remind yourself to stay calm and focus on enjoying the event regardless of who you might bump into. Having a support system, like a friend you can confide in or a distraction plan, can also be beneficial. However, the best way is to ignore or give a smile the way you smile at an unknown person at parties or conferences and then move to your known circle.” If you anticipate your ex’s presence at an event, it is always a good idea to take your friend who knows your history, and with whom you feel safe and comfortable. Ruuh suggests doing the following if you happen to see your ex in public or at a social event where avoiding them seems difficult 1. Stay calm, excuse yourself from people, drink a glass of water and cheer yourself up.  2. Try talking to someone about things that you like to distract yourself.  3. Take your time to collect your thoughts before engaging in a conversation or small talk with your ex. 4. Remind yourself why you are there for the event.  5. Be polite, say ‘hi’, make small talk and don’t dwell much on the past. Avoid making faces or worse, accusatory comments making this awkward for everyone present around you.   6. If you get uncomfortable, think of ways to exit the event gracefully.SEE PHOTOS: Seven easy flirting tips by expert to woo your crush Common mistakes to avoid after running into your ex Both Ruuh and Chakraworty list down common mistakes to avoid:  1. Don’t overreact or be impulsive. 2. Avoid discussing your past at all costs at a social event. 3. Don’t assume what they might be feeling or thinking about you.  4. Try not to ignore them completely. Don’t be rude. Simply acknowledge their presence by smiling or even nodding and waving. 5. Don’t jump into a stalking spree during or post the encounter. 6. Don’t compare your current life with your ex’s current life.  7. Don’t dwell on the encounter and let it affect your mood.  8. Don’t over analyse their behaviour or try to read into it.  9. Don’t ignore your own feelings or pretend everything is fine when it's not. Rather, opt for healthy ways to deal with it. Navigating connection with your ex post-breakup“Irrespective of the nature of the breakup, it is important not to keep any kind of connection with your ex,” states Chakraworty. “Your connection of any kind be it through social media or friend circle, can also hurt the emotion of your current partner and it might create insecurity in your current relationship.” Ruuh suggests setting clear boundaries. “If one wishes to maintain a cordial relationship with their ex, they must avoid unhealthy actions like stalking their ex on social media. Many people do this and get triggered when they see their ex having fun, travelling or even spending time with their current partner.” She adds, “Be sure to not dwell on the past or discuss it with your ex. After the breakup, it is important to respect your ex, their emotions and the choices they make in life. Similarly, it is also important to prioritise your well-being and respect your emotions” Further, she states, “If your ex is trying to communicate with you or wanting to keep a connection and if that is making you feel uncomfortable, communicate this with them clearly and ask them to respect your boundaries.” She says, “Focus on moving forward rather than going backwards. If, in any way, a cordial connection with your ex is hampering your growth as a person or coming in the way of your present relationship, you might as well limit your contact with them or choose to block them out for your own well-being.”SEE PHOTOS: What is Orange Peel Theory? Mumbai expert explains the dating trend and how to deal with it

28 February,2024 09:30 AM IST | Mumbai | Aakanksha Ahire
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3 things married couples can do in secret to rekindle the passion in their lives

There are times in the complex web of marriage when a couple can rekindle their passion and fires that go beyond their commitment. Seeking methods to defy social conventions and investigate novel and unusual connections might be exhilarating and invigorating for individuals who are already married. Now is the perfect moment to explore the complexities of new relationships, exploring the fascinating and surprising as well as everything in between. Married people have the opportunity to elevate their relationship to a new level by escaping the routine and introducing a fresh rhythm. An analogous viewpoint is expressed by Sybil Shiddell, country manager of Gleeden, in India, "Human nature persistently seeks creative avenues and strategies to escape the accustomed ways. Only our own research indicates that relationships also have this feature. Before any particular event, I urge our users to venture into the uncharted territory, ignite their passions, and submerge themselves in the ocean of love. What counts is giving married people the life-defining experiences they deserve, away from the spotlight. Seize the opportunity to create a celebration of uniqueness, warmth, and joy by letting your boldness and confidence speak for you." In the spirit of innovation, consider these three thrilling things married people could do to commemorate a big day with their covert partners: Creative Date NightCan you still feel the rush of being engrossed in the moment with your hidden admirer? A study by Gleeden found that 44 per cent of users think it's feasible to be in love with two people at the same time, and a startling 54 per cent admit to having at least one lover outside of their formal relationship. If this strikes a chord with you, it's time to bring back the drive to impress, the subtle clues, and the sneaky insinuations from the days when you felt fully alive.Take your secret lover to a bar or other special place where you may reenact the play-hard-to-get routines. For the remainder of the evening, act as though you don't know each other again and recreate the excitement of the person falling into your lap. Try to bring your passion back to whatever you do, and always remember that sincerity is essential. Night of SerenityIt's worth accepting the invitation to tranquillity that beckons. Seek out the most peaceful spot in the area, taking care not to arouse suspicion by scheduling an ostentatious excursion. Set aside any tolerance you may have developed for a lack of physical attraction or affection. According to internal statistics from Gleeden, 38 per cent of users cheated because they weren't physically attracted to each other, and 33 per cent felt they weren't given enough love, care, or attention.Give into infatuation's pull and follow its lead. Enjoy your fantasies, let your inner free, and play dominating or submissive roles with your secret partner, nothing is off limits. Kindle the flame and embark on the most audacious adventures you can think of. Unexpected IntimacyWhether it's in a car, an elevator, a garden, a balcony, or the rear of a parking lot, pick the most unlikely locations for intimate interactions. Encourage your close confidant to give in to their deepest wants. Take in the rush, share it with your partner, and surrender to your subconscious's wishes. Put on a power play in which perspiration, contact, and breathing all work as agents of your common passion. Remember, everything works out for the best. The key is to create the ideal environment for sincere, shared experiences, whether that is achieved through creative date nights, peaceful getaways, or unplanned intimate moments. This endeavour goes beyond the norm and infuses the marriage relationship with a spirit of playfulness and passion, demonstrating that keeping some things private can be a beautiful secret that is shared only between two hearts.

25 February,2024 01:45 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
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Age factor plays a key role in deciding who to date: Study

In the quest to find the perfect match, age factor plays a key role, says seven out of 10 people participating in a comprehensive consumer study arranged by one of India's online dating apps, QuackQuack. 13,000 men and women belonging to key tiers participated in the online research; most are working professionals and business owners. A group of the respondents are students. The highest number of individuals hailed from metros like Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore, and Hyderabad and smaller cities like Nagpur, Jaipur, Bhopal, and Indore. The participants ranged between 22 and 50 years of age.  QuackQuack's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented, "While we see a lot of couples matching despite the unusual differences in their age, a lot more users skip potential perfect matches because of the same reason. The age-related stereotypes are changing, and thankfully so, but we still have a long way to go." The seniorsWhile the app saw a surge in the number of seniors joining the dating club, there are still some hindrances that this group faces that the younger generation doesn't, according to the study. 36 per cent of users between the ages of 40 and 50 revealed that they struggle more to find a compatible match aged below 35. They went ahead to say that there have been instances where compatibility was off the charts, but they were rejected based on age. 41 per cent of women from this age group explained how it is worse for women than for men.  Age preference The findings of the study revealed that 45 per cent of men exhibit a preference for women either younger or of a similar age to them, while 55 per cent of women tend to match with men older than themselves. Additionally, it was observed that the ideal age gap for both men and women was around three to five years. Examining preferences across different city tiers, about 33 per cent of women in Tier one cities expressed more openness to dating younger men, and conversely, a similar percentage of men in Tier one cities were open to dating older women. However, Tier two and Tier three cities displayed a more rigid outlook concerning age factors in dating, suggesting a split in dating preferences based on geographical locations and cultural nuances. Evolution of dating norms across age groupsA significant 45 per cent of participants, both male and female, aged between 20 and 26, expressed a desire for a more open-ended approach to dating. Rather than seeking a predetermined outcome, they are inclined towards experiencing love, navigating the intricacies of relationships, and ultimately determining if a lifelong commitment is in the cards. In contrast, those in the 30 to 40 age bracket are actively pursuing a life partner, showing a readiness to settle down. 19 per cent of the younger age group cited this relaxed approach as a key reason for their preference to date within a similar age range. The demographic, aged 30 to 40, demonstrates a more decisive and goal-oriented approach in their pursuit of a partner, while their younger counterparts tend to adopt a more easygoing stance.  Age-related stereotypes32 per cent of female users above 40 from Tier two and three expressed concerns about the societal pressures and judgments associated with dating in the later stages of life. Within this demographic, 26 per cent highlighted the perception that engaging in dating automatically implies a readiness for marriage, a stereotype they find limiting; one per cent also complained about how people instantly tag them as indecisive because they believe dating is casually exploring your options without the headache of commitment, especially in smaller cities. Success stories17 per cent of men from Tier one and two cities are dating women older than them. The appeal lies in the maturity, kindness, and overall life stability that these women bring to the table. Conversely, 15 per cent of women admitted to dating younger men at some point, yet only eight per cent reported sustaining a long-term relationship. The main challenge cited was a disparity in attitudes towards life and shared interests.  This reveals that while initial attractions may exist, navigating the complexities of a lasting connection proves to be a nuanced challenge when age differences come into play.

23 February,2024 01:15 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
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Mid-Day Premium Orange Peel Theory: Can peeling an orange prove how much you love a person?

Being in a relationship may often seem like a bed of roses but it definitely comes with its fair share of thorns. It reminds us how it takes a lot of work, especially in the initial dating phase, if not after marriage to make it work as a couple. So, how do you measure whether your partner is committed to the relationship? Gen-Z believe asking them to peel an orange is the easiest way. But does it really work?  The ’Orange Peel Theory’ is a modern dating viral trend has been getting really popular on the Internet in the last few weeks and has been appearing on social media feeds more often than not. With Valentine’s Day almost here, mid-day.com set about to do a litmus test. It is a term that originated on TikTok in 2023 but has been picking up over time not only on the social media application but also the likes of X and Instagram as the days go by. Interestingly, the trend has been visible not only among Gen-Z but also Millennials trying to test it. The act simply involves asking your partner to peel an orange for you, and that shows an individual’s commitment to the relationship. The theory has not only been indicated towards men and their effort in a relationship but also towards non-romantic relationship across the internet.  Going beyond small tasksLynn Misquith, a former Mumbaikar who now is based out of Bengaluru for work, believes the theory is amusing in its imagery but may often be superficial. She explains, “It underscores an important aspect of relationships and that is how they are multifaceted and require genuine effort from both parties. While offering assistance with tasks can initially appear endearing, it is essential to recognise that true understanding and connection go far beyond these superficial gestures.”  Having had her fair share of relationships, the 26-year-old believes they are like a dance where both partners must actively participate and engage with each other on a deeper level. “Merely helping with tasks doesn't necessarily foster this deeper connection. It is merely a surface-level interaction. Building a meaningful relationship demands time, dedication and patience to truly comprehend and appreciate each other's complexities and nuances,” she adds. While the essence of the theory may definitely bring a smile to one’s face, she believes it is the commitment to investing in each other's emotional well-being and growth that forms the foundation of a lasting bond. Malad-based Simran Rose, who recently got married to her partner of six years, also agrees with Misquith. She shares, “GenZ are known to attach titles and tags to everything to make it sound cool, however, relationships don't work merely basis an act of peeling an orange.” It is also why she believes if only doing something as simple as your partner peeling an orange can help understand their commitment to the relationship, then the world would be a different place.  “If peeling oranges proved your commitment, then we would see so many happy relationships and marriages,” her husband Rudolph D’Souza chimes in. The 31-year-old says that the trend sounds fun only in theory. “Don't stick to judging your partner's commitment just because they peeled you an orange,” he advises for all those who have jumped on the bandwagon or are even taking it seriously. For him, commitment goes beyond the fruit and extends to doing the dishes, helping your partner with chores, doing things that your partner likes and doing it with wholehearted intent.  Without hesitation, Rose echoes his sentiment almost immediately. “Your partner welcoming you with a hug to welcome you home after a long day at the office. Sharing the workload if one is cooking, the other cleans, if one is doing the dusting, the other helps with laundry -- all the while just being together in the moment speaks more than peeling an orange.” In fact, for the Mumbaikar it even goes beyond the small tasks and extends to respecting your partner, their parents, their friendships, allowing each other to be themselves, while consciously working each day to be better together, are the greenest flags she thinks that there could possibly be. While Misquith is exploring the dating pool, and Rose and Rudoph are only married few months ago, Althea D’souza, another Mumbaikar, who has been married for the last six years and has been with her partner close to five years before that, has wise words of wisdom that are quite like those of Rose. The 33-year-old shares, “The little and simple actions like doing the dishes after dinner, folding clothes, making the bed or even breakfast in bed and other sweet gestures are all the little things that speak volumes about the person’s commitment to the relationship.”  While she thinks the Orange Peel Theory is a sweet gesture, like Misquith, Rose and D’souza, even she believes there is more to it. “A relationship is way beyond just peeling an orange and making a decision that this person is genuine and has sort of 'passed the test'. Metaphorically speaking, the theory does seek to explore tender acts of service that two people in love do for each other. However, peeling the orange cannot be the only criteria for assessing your relationship, it definitely has to have more nuances that just that,” she adds.  It is also why the sales profession believes it is a foolish way to assess one’s relationship based on the trend, if taken seriously. “How do you know if that person is peeling the orange for you out of love or forcefully?”, she asks, before continuing, “And then, you are going to evaluate him/her based on their action, which is debatable.” Red and green signals through orangesPicking off from where she left off, Swapnil Pange, a city-based psychologist and counsellor, practicing in Thane and Dadar over a decade believes doing small things for partners, without being asked for, definitely indicates your love language but that’s not everything. Dissecting the trend, he says, “We need to understand that two people when in a relationship are actually two different brains trying to co-exist together. They may definitely have different love languages. In this case, a person’s act of loving their partner may be exactly different from what the other partner expects or understands. So, would you not consider it as their kind of ‘peeling the orange for you’?” Another important dimension here, Pange says is that when someone does small gestures for you, there is no doubt that it indicates they are considerate or caring towards you. “However, that is merely not enough because the intention behind these acts is crucial to know.” The city-based counsellor wants you to address a much more important question -- Is your partner peeling oranges for you or you wanting them to peel the oranges for you only for the sake of social media trend? “Many a times act can be performed out of social pressure or to portray oneself as being a ’perfect partner’. So, intention behind the act is important and not the trend,” he adds. Dong your bit in relationshipsWith the theory being made popular by Gen-Z who are dating, he believes there is a larger effect. “Social media is definitely influencing relationships and dating of this generation as they get validity and peer acceptance whenever they follow the trend. But that may not exactly how real-life relationships would work. I think one should not judge their partner merely on the basis of their ability to do the act of doing the ‘bare minimum’ but the context in which the actions are done,” he adds.   With dating trends changing every other day and social media influencing them in more ways than one, the Mumbai expert has seen a huge difference in how Gen-Z and Millennials approach relationships today. “Millennials and Gen –Z have stark differences in approaching relationships and dating today. Millennials were not exposed to technology and social media and therefore their relationships were more shaped by real life scenarios and not social media trends. Today’s generation have a lot of exposure and options available when it comes to dating and relationships. It has both pros and cons, and one should be very mindful when using social media trend as a template to choose a dating partner,” he concludes.  Pange shares useful tips to show affection to your partners rather than just focusing ‘peeling an orange’:1. Respecting your partner’s needs and boundaries.2. Understanding your partner’s love language as well as expressing your love language to them.3. Balancing between ‘me time’ and ‘we time’.4. Not keeping social media trends as parameter to select the partner or using them to evaluate your relationship efficacy. 5. Keeping your relationship private and not necessarily social every time.

19 February,2024 09:13 AM IST | Mumbai | Nascimento Pinto
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Mid-Day Premium Dating for the plot: Experts help decode the top dating trend

“Dating ‘for the plot’ is about keeping things easy and fun. Instead of stressing about whether you're a perfect match or planning the future from the get-go, it's like going with the flow of a story and focusing on the joy of connection rather than overthinking where things might lead. You enjoy each other's company, live in the moment, and let the relationship develop naturally,” explains Dr Chandni Tugnait, life coach and relationship expert partner with Tinder India.  Those who date 'for the plot' embrace the adventure and say yes to opportunities they might otherwise overlook, without trying to define the relationship too soon. “This mindset takes away the pressure, letting young adults be themselves and appreciate the unique experiences and connections each relationship brings. Shifting away from outcome-focused dating reflects a move towards viewing the dating journey as a path to self-discovery, not just a checklist for commitment,” adds Tugnait.  Who is dating ‘for the plot’?According to data from Tinder, this trend is popular among young daters, mostly 18–25-year-olds, who view dating as an opportunity for possibilities rather than sticking to old-fashioned rules. They approach relationships with curiosity and independence, creating connections on their terms. It also removes the tunnel vision of finding ‘the one’ so they can appreciate each unique possibility for what it has to offer.   Meenakshi Bhatt, 22-year-old Tinder user from Kolkata shares her experience “Dating, for me, is all about enjoying the moment and not worrying about what comes next. I'm up for surprise adventures and open to the unexpected. Once, I matched with someone on Tinder who was totally out of my usual type – a Bollywood geek. Our spontaneous date turned into an unforgettable story: a long drive with old songs, city exploration, and delicious litti-chokha and chai. We kept meeting but decided to keep it spontaneous and explore the things we love, focusing on getting to know each other better. No pressure to label who we are, allowed us to let the connection unfold naturally. It was about taking things at our own pace, making memories and figuring it out as we go along.” While dating with abandon might be enjoyable for some singles, others might find it to be less than ideal. Mumbai resident Neha Kapadia is exhausted from going on dates which never seem to materialise. The 25-year-old tells us, “When you are not invested and are trying to keep it casual it often happens that the budding relationship withers away. I do love meeting new people and going on dates, but how many times can I have the same first-date conversation? When everyone is looking for low-key pretending does not help my anxiety as well.” “There can be benefits of adopting this dating pattern, however, it can also be said that dating ‘for the plot’ can have varying effects on individuals' mental well-being,” shares Riddhi Gandhi, a therapist at The Mood Space. Since the approach to dating is an extremely subjective choice, we asked both experts Gandhi and Tugnait to help us further our understanding of 2023’s hottest dating trend.What are the possible pros and cons of this dating approach?Tugnait: It's important to find a balance. Understand yourself and go at a pace that works for both you and your date. It's not just about going with the flow; it's about talking freely using every experience to make your connection stronger and having honest conversations along the way. Dating ‘for the plot’ encourages staying in the present to nurture connections, and may help people learn about themselves through new dynamics. There is also room for getting to know the person fully before thinking about the future and cultivating trust and emotional maturity before serious commitments. Gandhi: The emphasis on narrative enrichment provides individuals with a unique perspective on their dating experiences, encouraging them to view setbacks as plot twists, and fostering emotional resilience. This approach promotes mindful dating, as individuals become more attuned to their emotions, actively listen to their partners, and savour each moment, leading to more meaningful connections. Additionally, the reflective learning encouraged by this approach transforms each encounter into an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. By framing experiences positively and treating them as integral chapters in their personal story, individuals can maintain a constructive and optimistic outlook on their dating journey. However, ‘dating for the plot’ is not without its challenges. Fostering unrealistic expectations as individuals craft idealised narratives, potentially leading to disappointment in real-life scenarios. The focus on storytelling might also divert attention from building deep, authentic connections, and fostering more surface-level relationships. This approach could introduce additional pressure and stress, particularly for those feeling compelled to meet specific relationship milestones outlined in their self-created plot. This approach, particularly for those with anxiety or anxious attachment styles, may amplify stress, impacting mental well-being.  It is also crucial to be aware and mindful that we don’t end up using this approach as a means of evading commitment or sidestepping emotional intimacy. While this approach promotes a healthy mindset of intentional dating, an overemphasis on the present without considering future potential might hinder individuals from investing in relationships that could flourish. Thus, striking a balance between focusing on the present and future potential outcome is crucial for a fulfilling dating experience. How can such a dating pattern impact the mental well-being of individuals?Gandhi: Dating ‘for the plot’, with its emphasis on not prioritising or getting attached to the outcome can lead to a sense of personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. This approach provides a strong foundation for a mindful partnering dynamic, emphasising awareness, intentionality, and presence in relationships.  For some individuals this may be centred on enjoying the present moment and embracing the journey, allowing them to alleviate the stress associated with predefined relationship milestones. For many who may experience anxiety or have an anxious attachment style, this may be another source of anxiety stemming from uncertainty and walking the journey without a predefined outcome.  Who can benefit from ‘dating for the plot'? Conversely, who should not follow this approach? Gandhi: An individual who connects as an open-minded explorer and is willing to embrace the uncertainties of dating can find fulfilment in this dating approach. For these individuals, the dating journey can be viewed as an adventure, an opportunity for self-discovery, and a series of experiences that contribute to the narrative of their lives. They see each date as a unique chapter in their personal story, allowing for a dynamic and evolving plotline. The emphasis on storytelling aligns with their adventurous spirit, providing a framework to make the most of each dating experience. On the contrary, this approach may not be very feasible for those who are seeking stability and predictability in their dating life, as they may find the emphasis on the plot rather than the outcome overwhelming. For them this might take them away from a sense of security and clarity, the unpredictable nature of crafting elaborate narratives or focusing on the present moment without a predetermined plan may create a sense of uncertainty that contradicts their preference for a more stable and predictable dating experience inducing further stress and discomfort for them.  In your opinion, are individuals dating ‘for the plot' pursuing relationships? Can healthy long-term relationships be built by people prioritising the journey instead of the destination?Tugnait: The dating ‘for the plot' mindset fosters an appreciation for each other in the present and allows relationship goals to evolve naturally over time. It also recognises that people are complex, and relationships can take various shapes and sizes. Unlike focusing intensely on compatibility and labels right at the beginning, prioritising the journey can lead to a more informed decision. Taking an open approach allows them to meet new people without closing themselves off from all the possibilities that come from putting themselves out there.  Gandhi: In my opinion, dating ‘for the plot’ does have its unique benefit of being able to take time to assess romantic compatibility and establish mutual trust and safety before deciding on a future together and not engaging to know each other or forming a connection through a tunnel vision of the outcome; which may take away the chance to explore nuance experiences that you may have during the course of the journey. Here, the aim would be to build the foundation of a relationship without any preconceived notions.  The approach of ‘dating for the plot’ could be a good starting point, however, as the journey progresses it would be crucial that the individual openly communicate their expectations, desires, and boundaries to ensure that both partners are at the same pace and direction. This clear understanding of mutually agreed upon destination i.e. defining a relationship, timeline, or any labels we needed, based on their unique bond would help provide an essential sense of clarity, increased intimacy, and commitment. 

17 February,2024 01:41 PM IST | Mumbai | Maitrai Agarwal
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