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Santa Claus and the city

Usually, this edit column is all about gravitas and opinions. Of thoughts profound and issues that evoke serious comment.

As the bells ring, the sleigh races over the snow and all is supposed to be bright and cheerful, we deviate from the tried and tested, the dark and disturbing, to say that despite all the bad news and bickering, ‘tis the season to be jolly.

There is something to laugh about, given that this city of complexities has a heart as big as its problems.

So, it is with such lightness and mirth that we can wonder whether Santa brought in his sleigh to Mumbai last night and had a minor accident because of a loose paver block; whether Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, his favourite reindeer guiding that sleigh, did consult some of Mumbai’s top-notch cosmetic surgeons to do something about his red nose, or did he think: let my most distinguishing feature stay, anyway.

Whether Santa caught the latest Dhoom 3 while in Mumbai and even laughed ho ho ho at the joke that the State Bank of India (SBI) was giving a loan for Dhoom 3 tickets.

Whether the MNS and the Shiv Sena are at loggerheads about who owns Santa Claus because he is Maharashtrian after all, because he keeps saying: ho, ho, ho. Aiga! Maazha Santa!

And while on all things Marathi manoos, one wonders whether the moral police would halt Mumbai couples getting very close under the missal pao instead of the mistletoe.

Meanwhile, about Mumbai one wonders whether Santa’s sleigh first landed at the helipad at Mahalaxmi racecourse, but, he too wondered like the rest of the city when the racecourse lease, long expired, is going to be renewed by the BMC.

Then, of course, were other issues like getting shocked at the spiralling parking rates in Mumbai (even the sleigh which used to be parked at Rs 20 an hour is now at Rs 60 an hour), and, of course, parking spots too, are hard to find.

So, maybe, next time, Santa may think he could courier the gifts from the North Pole. Or maybe, not. For,never mind all the obstacles, hardships and problems he may have encountered while in Mumbai; like everything, Santa too needs his Mumbai fix. Merry Christmas!

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