'She does not want to accept me as her boyfriend...'

Dear Diana,
I have this awesome bonding with this girl. I met her through common pals. I love her to bits. We often hang out and talk for hours on the phone. But when I profess my love for her, she turns me down because she considers me nothing more than a good friend. She tells me I am her 3 am pal who she can turn to whenever. The thing is I can't help but think there's more to our friendship. I am deeply in love with her. I would give anything to be with her, but the fear of rejection haunts and scares me. I can't see her as a friend, but my life partner. She is just not willing to accept me as her guy. I really wonder why she is so inhibited in professing her love for me. Am I going too fast and need to slow down? We have been together for over a year. After all this while she thinks I am just a friend. Sometimes I think she just befriended me to know my feelings for her. She knew I showered her with attention, so she played along. I was honest about my feelings for her, but she just does not care for me.
— Devendra

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Devendra,
Initially this girl played along with you as you showered her with affection, but when you got serious about her and the relationship, she developed cold feet. It appears that she is just not ready to commit to you. Perhaps she is not too forthcoming or too shy to openly admit her feelings for you. Or perhaps there is something else on her mind which she is hiding from you. Her family may not be aware of you and she does not know how to tell her folk. Whatever be the case, she needs to tell you what exactly is going on in her mind. At the same time, you need to ascertain if she is really interested in you. This relationship is one-sided. After talking with her, you need to take a call. If she continues with this stance, it is better you move away and find someone who loves you.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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