'She feels her family will not accept me...'

Dear Diana,
I like this girl in the neighbourhood. We have been friends since childhood. A few days ago, I told her that she means the world to me. I also told her that she was special to me. I am 23 and she is 21. But she cautioned me and told me not to go any further as she did not see a future with me. She feels her family will not accept me. I often bump into her in the building complex, but she has been avoiding talking to me ever since I confessed my love for her. When I called her on her mobile, she said that she has been avoiding me as she is scared. She feels if her family members find out what is going on, they will stop her from getting out of the house. How do I tell her not to be afraid? How do I tell her that she is unnecessarily getting jittery when we are just friends for now?
— Neeraj


Dear Neeraj,
The girl was probably too taken aback by what you said. Given her state of mind, for now just let her be. It is best that you give her time to think about what you have told her. Explain to her that she is your special friend for now. You are too young to even think of marriage. That is somewhere far away.... in the future. There is no need for her to get scared or live in fear. From the looks of it, you were just expressing your feelings for her. It is not that you are getting married to her right now. Also, she is assuming that just because her family is unaware of your feelings for her, they will not accept her. Probably it is the first time a guy has expressed his love for her, and this girl is getting all worked up. You need to tell her to calm down and continue being friends with you as she was earlier. You can take the relationship to the next level when you are older. As for her parents not accepting you, this is her viewpoint. They do not even know, so how can she just assume? You need to keep her fears and apprehensions at rest, it is not as if you are meeting her folk right now. For now, just cherish the special friendship that you have with her.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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