I am in relationship. We completed five months this month

She has stopped calling me. Says studies more important

Dear Diana,

I am in relationship. We completed five months this month. In these five months, we had a lot of fights and luckily, all our fights were also resolved. However, I now find some change with my girlfriend's behaviour. She used to call thrice or four times a day but now hardly even calls once.

She gives more importance to her friends than to me. She now tells me it is better that we stay apart because she can't concentrate on her studies, but I can't stay without her. I always think about her but don't think she thinks about me. She never listens to anything I say. She takes me lightly because she thinks she is right about everything. When I shout at her for not calling meu00a0 she shoots back: "Why can't you call me? Why should I always call you?" I amu00a0 really fed up with this relationship and don't know what I should do.

J

Dear Friend,

What provoked the fights? You have to consider the possibility that she felt the fights were an indicator to a probable relationship with you. The uneasy peace that you might otherwise share doesn't really help either her or you. She might find solace in friends and that could explain why she spends so much time with them. You seem quite needy and clingy in wanting so much of her time.

I understand that a couple needs to spend as much time as possible getting to know each other but I equally feel that the other should be given breathing space. It could also be true that she has ego issues, but it isn't something that cannot be sorted out.

Also, why don't YOU call her? Why should she always be the one calling you. If she has ego issues, you hav bigger ones. If you want out of the relationship, simply walk out. Don't look for excuses to justify the relationship's continued existence. Why don't you give her the benefit of doubt when she says she need to concentrate on her studies. Is that so unbelievable?

No sex before marriage... how to tell him?

Dear Diana,

I'm 20 and I have a 27-year-old boyfriend who really loves me and cares about me but really wants to have sex. I feel the same way too and I think we're meant to be together but I want him to marry me first. I don't know how to tell him this and I'm scared to death. I don't wanna lose him as he's the only one who could make me happy but I am firm that I do not want to have sex before marriage. Every time I trying to talk about it. he changes the subject... Please help me.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,

I think your only option is to tell him that you are not comfortable having sex before marriage. Tell him that you want to discuss this.u00a0 You do need to be clear and honest to your boyfriend and tell him that the two of you will be in a no sex relationship and if he loves you he will respect you and wait.

If he chooses to leave unless you prove yourself to him than you will know he is the wrong person. A person who truly loves you will wait for you and will not pressure you.u00a0 You have to be prepared to hear that he is not ready for marriage if you do have this discussion. He may be avoiding the topic because he knows you want to get married and he doesn't want to disappoint you.

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