I am an 18-year-old guy.
Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old guy. For the past two days now, I have been feeling very restless and very insecure. The thing is, my closest friend who's my own age and belongs to an orthodox family is getting engaged soon.
She has not informed me about this. I came to know from one of my friends who told me that she would personally call and inform me. Her family knows me quite well and though we have been friends for many years, we never fell in love with each other.
We may have felt something for each other at least once butu00a0 nothing after that. But the moment, the news of her engagement struck, I went mute for more than a minute. I felt a pause in my heartbeat, as if I had just missed one.
All these things started bothering me at that time. I was completely disconnected. Now, I don't know why I am I so insecure. Is it the fear of losing a friend, as she won't be able to be in contact with me after her engagement? Or is it because I'm feeling that it's not the right age for anybody to get into a serious bond at such a tender age? Or am I falling in love with her? Or is it all of the above? And why isn't she telling me about her engagement? Also, tell me why does this still happen in India that the parents of a middle class girl, get her a groom at a very young age?
Name withheld
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Dear Friend,
All said and done, you would know best why you're feeling this way. It could be the fear of losing her forever or genuine concern about her getting wed (what you see as) too soon. For now, she's simply engaged. And that engagement could stay that way for a few years (probably until she completes her studies).
As she comes from an orthodox family, I understand her folks might want to find her a good bloke to settle down with and I understand you might not fit in that scheme of things. Obviously, you do not know what it is you two shareu00a0 it might be nothing more than mere friendship. Is it love? I really don't think so because you felt nothing for her and took her for granted for the most part.
Is it too late? You really wouldn't know what to do next unless you were sure it wasn't a kneejerk reaction and WERE sure that it WAS, in fact, love. Most parents tend to look out for their daughter's "best interests" and despite your best intentionsu00a0 if you don't voice them there's nothing you can do about it. Stop moping and get on with your life. Be sure about what you want in life, who you want in it, and you will be happier for it.
I need a friend...
Dear Diana,
I am married. I have lost my freedom completely. I have become a machine who works as per my wife's instruction. I am unable to share my feelings because she always opposes them. I really need a girlfriend and surely not for having sex but to understand my feelings and share them. I am fed up with my married lifeand am badly in need of and on the lookout for a good friend.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
So you're henpecked and furious about it. But the question really is, what are you doing about it? Nothing! Why are you being a spineless wimp. People will dictate terms to you only as long as you allow them to. Distractions will serve their purpose for a limited time.
No one will be your "girlfriend" without expecting some sort of commitment in return. And what happens when that friend wants a sexual relationship? Try working out by putting your foot down and standing up for yourself.
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