I have been with this woman for over four years. I am 30 and she is two years older to me. What drew me to her was her intelligence and wit. The first time I met her through a common friend, I knew she was the girl for me. She is the type who wants to be in control of things. She always wants an upperhand in everything. As long as it did not affect me, I let her be. But now, I feel she is proving to be a control freak. Everything has to go her way. What is upsetting me even more is the fact that she is evasive about our future. Her answers leave me confused. Often I find myself deciphering what she means and what she said. All this is causing me a great deal of agony. I try my best to please her and not rub her the wrong way. She, however, still finds faults and argues just for the heck of it. What do I do? Is she just using me according to her convenience?
You two are mature enough to know what exactly you want in life. It appears that this woman wants to be in total control. You allowed her to have her way all this while. Now you are feeling a bit stifled in the relationship as she is not committing. Also, as you do not know what the future holds for you, there is this fear and uneasiness about what direction the relationship is going. First of all, you need to clear your muddled mind. Is she the woman you really wanted? Initially, you might have been drawn to her, but do you still harbour such feelings? Ask yourself this question — is she really the person you loved and wanted? It looks that you are giving everything to the relationship, while she is not. Once you have decided where she stands in the current phase of your life, have a talk with her and decipher if she is worthy of your love.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012