'She wants a house first, then marriage...'

I’m 28 and my girlfriend is 24. We are in love and planning to get married, but there’s a major problem involved. Her family members have agreed to get us married on condition that I buy a separate home for us. I haven’t spoken to my parents yet so I have no idea what their reaction will be. I can not afford a house now.
— Samrat

Illustration/ Amit Bandre
Illustration/ Amit Bandre

Dear Samrat,
You are getting married and not taking up an assignment that terms and conditions apply. If the girl’s side is laying down conditions, you need to also take a stand. They may want the moon and the stars, but you can only do things that you can afford. You can buy a new house, but at a later stage — when you can afford to pay the EMIs. Knock sense into your girl. It is strange that she is not speaking up. Also, think twice before taking any decision.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012



  • andy21-Jan-2014

    Typical, pathetic Mumbaikar thinking. They just can't think beyond a house. They are hopelessly outdated in their thinking about what a career is, even more ignorant in what is meant by "quality of life". And it's not like you don't have a house. You do have a house where you live with your parents. Or the reason is probably something else. Maybe they don't want you to stay with your parents, and the girl isn't speaking up because she wants the same. Try to talk sense into those idiots, and try talking to your girl too. If they still don't relent, tell them you can buy a house some city other than Mumbai, where the prices are less (as they have not imposed a condition as to WHERE to buy).Tier 2 cities like Baroda, Indore, etc. Believe me nothing scares Mumbaikars more than the thought of living outside Mumbai. It's hillarious. But if they are still hellbent and in no mood for a mutually beneficial truce, you might have to move on, eventually.

  • Proud Mumbaikar24-Jan-2014

    What's wrong with that? every parent wants their daughter future secured, whether it love marriage or arranged one. I don't think it has anything with Mumbaikar mentality. If you are planning to get married then you should be mentally prepared for all kind of situations. Or else be ghar jamai...... lol They will surely accept you in this scenario....

  • andy22-Jan-2014

    Tell them you will buy a house, if that's what they want, but not in Mumbai, but some tier 2 city. See how they tremble by the mere thought of it. Stupid Mumbaikars, they can't imagine a world outside Mumbai.

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