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'She wants me to commit...'

Dear Diana,
I like a girl at my workplace. She joined eight months ago. I was attracted to her from her first day at work and within a month we became close. We, however, prefer to be discreet about our relationship as we do not want to part of office gossip. We keep messaging each other and talking on the phone late nights. We avoid going out together as there is not much time left due to our long work hours. Last week, my girlfriend took me by surprise. She told me that we should be open about our relationship. She wants me to commit as her parents are now on a groom hunting spree for her. I am confused as I only know her as a colleague. I have not hung out with her, so really do not know how she is outside office. Should I tell her to give me some time? Should I start hanging out with her after office hours? I do not want to commit so soon as my family is unaware about her.
— Ajinkya

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite 

Dear Ajinkya,
The girl is forcing you to commit as her family members may be pressuring her to tie the knot. This could be her way of putting them off her back. So once you commit, she can then tell her family that there is someone on her scene. At the same time, you can get to know her better by meeting her beyond office hours — why can't you ask her to go for dinner with you? Or just go for a walk or maybe just hang out together? You are being discreet as you are not too sure about her. At the same time, perhaps you do not want to commit. If you are serious about her, you need to tell her or ask her to give you some time to ponder. Either way you need to make up your mind. This girls seems keen, so what is stopping you from professing your love for her? It is time you, too, turn serious as well. Or else treat her just like any other office colleague. The faster you clear your muddled mind, the better for you and her.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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