'The Boy Next Door'
Director: Rob Cohen
Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Guzman
Jennifer Lopez's career and filmography is a case study of diminishing returns. First making a splash in the horrendous but profitable 'Anaconda', she went on to become a musician doling out generic pop tunes with the aid of eye candy. She had a couple of more hits and fell off the radar. Her career took such a hit she had to resort to starring as the clichéd love interest in a Jason Statham movie last year. And it looks like she wanted to get back to playing the lead and the offers dried up, so the only options left for her were films like 'The Boy Next Door'.
To say that this movie sucks is an understatement. This is not just a bad movie, this is a movie so bad it's almost very good. Lopez plays a school teacher who goes through a divorce after her husband cheats on her, and has a fling with the young man who lives next door. That young man also happens to be in the same school that she teaches in. Naturally, she regrets her decision, much to the rage of her kid. What follows is a really crummy version of 'Fatal Attraction', with some truly terrible thrills, unintentionally hilarious acting and lines that cause hoots.
The other side of this atrocity is fuelled by another person who started off with a bang and ended in a whimper. That person is director Rob Cohen, who made the fun 'Dragonheart' in the '90s and Vin Diesel's 'XXX' in the 2000s. The most depressing part of this movie is that Cohen has also made the original Fast and Furious movie, and while that franchise has taken off to a multi billion dollar venture with seven (and counting) movies to date, Cohen has been relegated to making threequels to 'The Mummy' and turkeys like 'The Boy Next Door'.
In one scene, Lopez's character demands to the boy to stay away from her, to which he says he cannot because he lives next door. The delivery and execution of the line is funny enough to bust your ribcage and one wishes the entire film was that bad. Sadly, the majority of the film is too serious to be campy and not campy enough to be fun, and neither bad enough to be a recommendation.