'The guilt of my past is ruining my present...'
I am 29 and my wife is 23. Earlier, I had a girlfriend whom I promised marriage, but as time went by I decided to go with my family's decision and married a girl of their choice. As of today, I feel guilty for breaking my ex-girlfriend's heart by not keeping my word. My wife is an understanding person and quite mature, but I don't feel like letting her know what's disturbing me — especially when it's not her fault. The guilt, however, is killing me.
Illustration/ Amit Bandre
It was your decision to go with the family's wishes and break off from her. So why cry over spilt milk now? You took a decision and now you need to abide by it. There is no point looking back and wondering about your ex. She has moved away from your life, so respect that. Also, it will serve no purpose in telling your wife about your former flame. It might create problems for you depending on how she reacts. You should have had guilt feelings when you decided to tie the knot. After all this while there is no need to feel sorry and be on a guilt trip. She has moved on, so let her be while you get on with your life.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012