Kalpana Swaminathan's Lalli will make sure you stop missing Miss Marple, and look at every classic piece of art with newfound curiosity
Kalpana Swaminathan's Lalli will make sure you stop missing Miss Marple, and look at every classic piece of art with newfound curiosity
If you're wondering why Indian authors never succeeded in producing legends like Sherlock Holmes and Hercule
Poirot, you might want to get your hands on Kalpana Swaminathan's Lalli. A retired police inspector in her 60s, Lalli is razor sharp, tongue-in-cheek and independent, much like her creator.
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Can mystery series survive in a world of blink-and-miss chicklit? When is the last time a contemporary mystery book series took off.
I've bad news for you. Blink-and-miss chicklit is a one-way ticket to brain death. More so because there's no detox, I'm afraid.
Why a name like Lalli for a detective? She sounds more like a lovable three year-old. Why not something more mature or sensuous?
Lalli is a familiar form of Lalita, a common Indian name. Last time I looked, our subcontinent was a bit larger than Bollywood. Why Lalli prefers this cognomen is a story in itself, wait to find out.u00a0
Describe your book in 100 words to someone who knows/expects nothing from it.
I'll do it in just three: A gripping read.u00a0
Today's readers would prefer a sexy, 20-something detective. Why such an aged one?
Exactly what's age all about? I know people of 80 who think faster than Einstein on a good hair day. I also know 20-somethings who get through 9-to-5 on life support. And nothing preserves youthu00a0-- except formaldehyde.u00a0
This book might stir a hornet's nest. Remember The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons?
Rafael Sanzio lost his copyright about 400 years ago. The poor guy's pictures are on everything from ashtrays to T-shirts. Still, he doesn't have it as bad as Leonardo and Michelangelo. My monochrome Madonna is simply, and thankfully, not the girl with the hornet's nest!u00a0
What won't work in detective writing anymore, and what will?
Whether you're writing detective fiction, or anything else, the only thing that will work is skill. If you've got it, flaunt it. If you don't, quit now.u00a0
EXCERPTS FROM THE MONOCHROME MADONNA
'Since you seem so familiar with this painting, tell me, how did this monochrome one strike you? In what way was it different from the original?'
'I'll show you.' I had a print somewhere, one of the 'holy pictures' I had hoarded for the sheer beauty of it, now serving time as a bookmark-right, here it was, in Erica Jong's Loveroot. I glanced at it to refresh my memory before giving it to Lalli. We looked at it together.
'What do you see?' Lalli asked.
'The Madonna's breathless with haste. What a great hurry she's in to shake off the glory behind her and step into the world. Look at the baby, he's ready to leap out of her arms. She's whispering sternly, out of the corner of her mouth, "Shh, we're almost there!"
This old man dithering in the backgroundu00a0-- he supposed to be St. Sixtus-you can hear him say, "Sure you want to go out there? It can get messy, you know." And the dame checking if her bra strap's showing, this one's St. Barbara. She couldn't care less about the Madonna. A few pictures more and she'll make it to centrefold. The best part of the painting for me are the two sardonic genii. My title for this picture is the thought in the eyes of these two winged brats: "Out of the frying pan, into the fire!"
'You seemed to have looked long and earnestly.'
'Six years. There was a print in each classroom, and one in each corridor.'
'No, that doesn't explain your involvement. Is it just this one painting, or is it Raphael, or the Madonna in general?'
'The Madonna, I think. Somewhere along the line-I was about eleven-it hit me that these were all real women, and painters had forced this unnatural role on them, always to play the same part. I thought of them as having to sit through the same boring class, painting after painting after painting. So I made up lives for them, quarrels, love affairs, tragedies.'
The Monochrome Madonna by Kalpana Swaminathan,u00a0 Penguin India. Rs 250. Will hit bookshelves in a week.
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