'We had one date, and now he's calling every day'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My friends set me up with a boy a few weeks ago, who has turned into a complete psychopath after our first date. He calls me every day, sends me romantic messages on WhatsApp, and sends flowers to my office every week. My friends think this is lovely, and romantic, but I find it strange and frightening because no one behaves like this after a first date. They think I am overreacting and have asked me to give him a chance, but I don't think I want to date him anymore because this isn't normal behaviour. I'm frightened to reject him too though, because there is no way to predict how he will react. How do I get myself out of this situation? It may easily spin out of control.
Your friends may mean well, but you are entitled to make your own decisions based on what you think is right for you. If this person is harassing you, and crosses a line, you have the right to seek legal action because the law is on your side. If he is just harmlessly creepy, you have the option of blocking him and avoiding him entirely too. Speak to your friends again, ask them to intervene on your behalf and inform this man of your lack of interest in him. If they really are your friends, there is no reason for them to force you into something you have no intention of doing. Also, as an adult, you really can't be forced into doing anything you don't want to. That's what adulthood is all about.
I am looking for the perfect place to take my colleague to, but I am also paranoid about someone from the office spotting us. They may think we are having an affair, which may be a problem. Should I forget about this entirely?
You are having an 'affair' only if either of you is already committed to someone else. If neither of you are, then you are simply having a meal like two normal adults.
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