Q. I want to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic gesture. I don't want to take her to a fancy restaurant, an awful action movie or a walk along Worli seaface. What do you suggest I do?
A. I have often found that the smallest gestures make a huge difference if they reveal a certain amount of thought put into how you want to show affection. Figure out what she likes doing, or a place she likes visiting, and put aside a day or time to share it with her. It sounds clichéd, but it actually is anything but, because what you are doing is focusing on what makes someone else happy, as opposed to relying on jaded romantic ideas to surprise her with. Maybe all she needs is a little quality time with you.
Q. I dated a guy for three years, from the time I turned 23. I think it was a great relationship because no one I have met since has ever understood me the way he did. We broke up because I saw him at a mall with his former girlfriend and assumed he was cheating on me. He said he wasn't, but I never forgave him. It's been four years since we broke up and I think I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting him go. Will I ever be able to forgive myself?
A. Everything can be managed with time, including grief for something or someone you have lost. You must keep in mind the fact that when you ended the relationship, the two of you understood each other really well. Your inability to believe what he was saying about his ex-girlfriend must have been based on what you strongly believed at the time. It's been four years since you made that decision. You are both different from what you used to be. Maybe you can both be friends some day. Until that happens, learn to move on. Life may have a few surprises in store for you yet.
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