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'You don't need anyone else for pleasure'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. My boyfriend pleasured me recently. I didn't know what to call it at the time, but it felt good. I asked him to do it again the next day, because I can't do it myself. Is this harmful?
A. There's nothing wrong with masturbation at all. In fact, it has a number of advantages as far as your health is concerned. Also, one of the nicest things about it is you don't need anyone to do it for you. If this brings you and your boyfriend closer, it's a great thing. I encourage you to explore your sexuality on your own too, though, because that is something we have always been taught to repress. Sexual repression is the cause of so many nut jobs in our country propagating weird ideas about sex, sexuality and the role of women in society. Don't be sexually repressed. Free yourself.

Q. My girlfriend says she loves me whenever we chat via WhatsApp, but never, ever says it to me when we're face to face. At first, I thought she was just shy, but this is starting to worry me because we have been together for almost a year now. She doesn't tell me if she's upset about something either. Do we just have communication issues or is she trying to tell me that our relationship is over? I don't want it to end.
A. It seems as if you both have serious doubts about your relationship. She isn't comfortable saying she loves you, while you're not really sure if she's your girlfriend anymore. If she continues to keep her distance, maybe you should let go for a while and simply assume it's over. If she comes back, have a chat and get it all out in the open. Don't hold on to something that doesn't exist just because you're afraid to let go. Also, keep in mind that people in relationships who don't take communication seriously usually don't last long.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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