Dressed in a yellow top and blue jeans, Mallika Sherawat is seated on a couch in her "office."  She talks without a pause, jumps up from her seat to stress her point, shouts to make herself heard, and breaks into full-throated laughter every now and then.

Once the recording stops, the real Mallika surfaces. She takes pot shots at her rivals, shares private SMSes and relates funny incidents with filmmakers and co-stars. One thing remains constant. Whether Mallika is on quote or not, she loves being outrageous.
 
The first question comes from her: What sun sign are you?" That established, she is ready to talk. Here, she holds forth on everything from her films, family and even her foes! Read on...    

You've been in hiding!
You guys (the media) confuse the hell out of me. When I speak, you guys say I talk too much and call me motormouth. When I keep quiet you ask why don't you talk? Make up your mind.

There's something between too much talk and silence.
It's my personality, I guess. Nothing's in moderation.

You have two releases coming up. Any favourite?
For an actor, it's an unfair question. I had a great time working for both films and that's the truth. I am not known for giving diplomatic answers. Ugly Aur Pagli was fun, we had a workshop for the 99 slaps. Ranvir is a great co-star and a wonderful actor to work with. We had a lot of fights. Lots of ugly situations but we always made up. Maan Gaye... was great because I was working with Paresh Rawal, who is my favourite co-star. Also there are Rahul Bose and Kay Kay Menon.

How important is it be friends with your co-star?
It's completely unimportant. We are all just going to the set to learn the lines, prepare for the part, rehearse for the scenes and shoot the scene.  For me, the script and the role are most important.

Why aren't you working with A-listers?
Firstly, I think Ranvir and Rahul are the only ones who can tolerate me. That's the honest-to- God truth. And secondly, I feel that everyone has a place in the industry and I feel my place is not beside the A-listers. I have always considered myself more of a character actor. Even if you look at the cameos I've done in Welcome or Dasavatharam. In Welcome, I played a character flirting with two heroes. It was not opposite anyone. In Dasavatharam, I am an assassin, again not paired opposite anyone. In fact, I feel envious of the kind of roles Paresh Rawal and Boman Irani get.
 
Aren't you losing out by not working with big stars?
Those actors who try to seek their identity through their men (read lead actor) are very unlike me. I am an individual that way. Anyway the question to ask is if it is their loss that I am not working with them, or mine?

You have no friends in the industry. Deliberate?
I have come here to work. Not make friends. I'm not interested in making friends 

That's such a cliché!
That's not a cliché, it's the truth. And I think it works beautifully this way. If you do not have a friendship or close association with anyone, they won't pick up the phone and say, 'aaj is premeire pe aao'; or 'do this for me' or 'do that for me'. You can't say no to friends when they call you and say, 'this is a script, this is your co-star, let's do this film.' Nobody can do that with me. I want to keep it completely professional.

Has anyone seen your home?
No. Nobody.

Rekha has Farzana, you have Parul. You are both reclusive. Your mobile numbers are secret. You both have offices, and no one has seen your homes. Are you a Rekha clone?
(Shouts) Don't you dare say that. I am not trying to be like her. It's just that I am very obsessive about privacy. Very frankly, my home is not very well done up. It's quite shabby. It's the truth and I worry that I will have to do it up if I start calling people home, and that's a lot of effort!

Were you always paranoid about your privacy?
No. I guess it's something that I have become after this whole fame thing happened. I started getting a lot of attention that I wasn't really prepared for. That made me obsessive about my privacy. Everyone keeps harping about my image. One is always being judged. Being looked at from every angle and from every corner. It gets to you after a while. At home, I like to be like this, hair piled up, in my pajamas, not bothered about how I am looking... (breaks off mid sentence) it's like that. But you are most welcome to come to my home anytime.

Will drop by, someday.
Please do. (Declares aloud) Women are most invited and most welcome (sic) in my home. I will be more than happy to share my home with you, really.

What's your average day like?
I read a lot. I get up around seven. I do Pranayam, then I do yoga, and go to the gym. I'm obsessive about it. I read a lot of biographies... I surf the net. I watch movies... these days, I'm also reading a lot of scripts.

Out of ten scripts offered, how many do you reject?
Nine.

About your love life.. How come there's no man?
Yes, that's the tragedy of my life! Please help me find a boyfriend! I am serious! Maybe I can put an ad in Mid Day?

You don't need an ad. There should be a guy!
I agree with you. There should be. But where is he? I am looking. Help me find him. I was just thinking, career, fame and success is great but you cannot cosy up to a career when it's raining.

But how will you meet a guy if you don't go out?
It just hasn't happened. I hate being single. Will you fix me up with someone? Please do me a favour. Help me out. As it is guys run away from me, and now after seeing Ugly aur Pagli, after they see me slapping a guy 99 times, they won't even look at me.
 
What's your kind of guy?
Someone who just lets me be. That's very important.

Ever thought of blogging?
Definitely. I would love to. But right now I just don't have the time because between UAP, Maan Gaye... and Naagin, there is too much going on.

You haven't done a show after Rockstar. Why?
Shows have been coming to me, off and on but right now I am not interested.

What about television?
I wouldn't do TV for any amount of money. I love cinema. And at this stage of my career, I really need to do good work and prove myself as an actress. All these shows, and making money can be done later on. Lots of years (sic) left for that.
 
Not even for mega bucks?
For me, making movies is more important. Making money is not so important. I want to do films with a good story. And if the language of the script is nice.
 
Will you ever go deglam?
Of course! Isn't Ugli Aur Pagli deglamourised?

Please!
I thought it was! Please tell me how is it glamourised, except for that one song? I look ridiculous with that stupid hairstyle and those pins and those stupid costumes. I look like a clown. Isn't that deglamourised? C'mon!! Look at those boots.

They look like Liz Hurley's boots in Bedazzled.
Exactly like those boots? She has great taste then! (laughs aloud)

Do you demand Evian water and special food on your sets?
My poor producers. They have to put up with my temper tantrums, no? I demand nothing, actually. I am a simple girl. It's just Evian water! That's it. Who let's these stories out? I don't read any magazines and no papers come to my house, because I think it is narcisstic to read about yourself in the papers.

You can read about others.
For me, only my movies exist. Is anybody else making movies? I don't know. Is any other movie releasing? I don't know... For me there's only Ugli Aur Pagli and Maan Gaye... releasing and that's it. That's my world.

That's living in a bubble!
If that's what you want to call it, then fine. I am not concerned about what films other people are doing. What films other people are signing... hell, no!

When was the last time you went to your hometown?
I haven't gone there since I came to Mumbai.

You don't feel like going?
I definitely feel like going to my hometown but I don't think there is a level of acceptance. They are not ready to see me or meet me right now. They cannot relate to a woman being an actress.

And your family is here?
My brother lives with me, and my mother is visiting me now. But nobody else.

Are you in touch with your dad?
Not really. In the sense that… my dad hasn't yet accepted it fully. He is still not comfortable with the fact that his daughter is an actress.

About Naagin, that your brother is co-producing.
Naagin is being directed by Jennifer Lynch. It is about an ichchadhari naagin but with a very contemporary twist. It's more like a cross between Silence Of The Lambs and Jaws! It has special effects. I am actually going to turn into a cobra.

Okaaaaay. How involved are you in the production?
I am very involved and luckily, I am very proud of my brother, Vikram. He is looking after the entire thing and I have Venus backing us. And I feel very confident and comfortable in the knowledge that Ratan Jain is backing us.
 
About Fauj Mein Mauj...
Sometimes in filmmaking, things go wrong. What we had on script did not translate very well on the screen. We were not happy with the rushes. I did not want a tacky product going out, and neither did the producer nor the director. So a joint decision was taken to re-script it, and reshoot it. Right now, the re-scripting is in progress.
 
Are you going to give heart burn to the censor guys again with your films?
I love to needle the censors. At the very mention of my name they just get jittery. I love that feeling.

Katrina is now the sexiest actress by a poll...
I am heartbroken (laughs hysterically) I've been dethroned. What can I do?

Snatch the crown back?
No. Let the queen reign there.