Noisy, non-workaholic and food enthusiast who loves to sleep that describes me in seven words. I face quite a few stares from colleagues at work and I calm my conscience in the belief that I am punctual with my deadlines. 

There are times when my mind wanders off to dissect the past 20 years of my life and I realise I can't rate myself on a scale of 10. I plummet to zero or soar to 10. 

Believing that I'm near the ideal score five as I am a great believer in the law of averages, I decide to put pen to paper and make my wish list (and my 'hate' list). The pesky part first:

I can't digest the fact that maniac Monday follows blissful Sunday, and waking with a hangover does not help either.

I can't digest the fact that I cannot flirt. It took 14 disastrous dates for realisation to dawn. Since I am not equipped to seek out the perfect relationship, I prefer to hide behind a scowl and a snigger. It's safer than being found out.

I can't digest the fact that I throw attitude. Preferring to stay true to myself, I cannot be nice to someone just because I am supposed to. No one receives a fake smile or a white lie from me. 

I can't digest good advice from friends who begin listing the dangers of tobacco, the moment they see me light up. I love my nicotine because it helps me stay sane in an insane world. 

Now, here comes the good part. A few of my favourite things, as the cliché goes.

I dream of writing my dream epic. Full of drama, fantasy, magic and humour, it will be "me".

I dream of walking in space floating actually. The moon sounds like a perfect place to start.

I recommend that everyone should get drunk at least once just to remember why it was such a bad idea to start with. 

I recommend a blind date. You may not find your Prince Charming but you may end up sipping beer with a geek or the local goon, and each of them has their uses!

I recommend shirshasana a yogic posture where you balance your body weight on your head to enjoy the feeling when the blood rushes to your face. It also makes you extremely down to earth.

I recommend that you allow your pet pooch breathe down your neck once a day. This helps you appreciate a dog's breath more than a drunk stranger who slobbers over you at the pub party.

I can't ask you to forgive me for foisting these untamed thoughts on you. I had fun writing them. Getting these random thoughts out of my mind and out of my unwritten diary has been oddly therapeutic.