Mumbai's 20 and 30 year-olds are choosing to move out of home. Ironically, the shift has improved relationships with parents. Sole dwellers talk straight with Bhairavi Jhaveri
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Delon Mascarenhas unwinds over music at his 1BHK Chembur apartment. Pic/Sameer Markande |
It's almost necessary to live alone
"You start knowing yourself and your shortcomings when you live alone, when a myriad responsibilities shroud you," says 30 year-old Delon Mascarenhas, who moved into a 1BHK at Chembur this April. In 2006, Delon moved out of his Andheri home where he stayed with his mother, brother and sister-in-law, to live with roommates at Santacruz. After the warm-up routine, he realised he was ready to take charge alone.
Besides aiming at turning independent, Delon, a marketing manager for a radio station, found it taxing to explain to his mother why late nights were a given in his field of work. "Networking is essential for career growth. I have to socialise, stay out late, or put in longer hours in office," he says.
Thirty year-old training consultant Natasha Gogia, moved into a Bandra pad two years ago, because, "You either make it on your own, or shut up and live by the rules." As long as you live like a kid, your parents are going to treat you like one, she says.
Quality time with my parents now
If you think your life is no different from the 5th floor paying guest in your building, welcome to parasitical modern life that's feeding off healthy domestic relationships. Most working youngsters wake up, get ready, leave for work, come home, eat dinner, and hit the sack. If they can salvage any time in between this ruckus, they may catch a glimpse of the people they are living with. Conversations are scanty, advice and arguments, more common. "Now, I end up talking to my mum every night, and see my family every weekend over lunch or a movie," explains Natasha.
Madhav Joshi, 27, account director at an ad agency, makes a conscious effort to spend time with his mother, since he moved out of home to stay in Goregaon. "My office shifted base seven months ago. So, I rented a flat closer to office, to save time." On Saturdays, Madhav is back at home in Worli. "While I was at home, I took my mum for granted. I'd make plans with friends who I hadn't seen all week."
Most want to move out at 23, but can't afford it
Twenty four year-old Gaurav Gurbaxani spends his entire day with his father, since they work and live together. "Though we get along, I still need privacy. Living at home is different from living alone. I can't bring friends home when I feel like. Girls can't stay over," says Gaurav, who is considering moving out soon.
But, for 23 year-old Parijat Kaushik, it's not a feasible choice. "I have wanted to move out since I was 18, because I don't get along with my dad. But the expenses will leave me with zero savings," he says. Kaushik plans to save money to do a post-graduate course in another city.
Moving out eliminates petty issues
Earlier, it was marriage that saw youngsters move out. Now, marriage has become uncertain but the needs of the grown adult still remain. On moving out, you meet only at planned and pleasant times. If they stay at home, rules have to be shuffled. After a certain age, parents cannot force decisions on their kids.
- Ameeta Sanghavi-Shah, Relationship Expert
If you are planning a move
Running rent rate for a 1BHK (600 sq ft):
In Khar-Bandra (Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000). In new buildings and good areas, the rent could go up to Rs 50,000 a month.
In Lokhandwala, Andheri (Rs 25,000).
How to be a smart mover
If you like an apartment, pin it down. Don't wait to find something better. The realty market is volatile.
If two girls are looking for an apartment, tell the landlords you are cousins. Single girls find it tough to rent a place, otherwise.
If a young couple is looking to rent a place and live in together, tell the landlord you are engaged to each other.
If you are moving out of home and eyeing a fairly fancy pad in a good building in the same city you stay in, be careful of fastidious owners who will be suspicious of you claiming tenancy. Certain all-Muslim societies don't lease out flats to Hindus tenants, and vice versa.
While getting into an agreement, opt for a 3-year contract. By the time you settle in, one year would have gone by, and you will have to extend the lease as per new (higher) rates.
bhairavi.jhaveri@mid-day.com
