Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Diana,

My parents are against love marriage, so I decided to go for an arranged marriage. We shortlisted a girl despite caste differences. The marriage was held on a lavish scale. On our wedding night, she ran away along with her younger sister for the whole night. That was when I came to know that the marriage was held without her consent. After much hoopla and a little help from the police, we got them home. Meanwhile, I came to know that she was having a affair. I asked her if she wanted to come with me. If yes, I promised to forget the entire episode and start afresh. 20 days later, she opened up and revealed that it was over between her and her lover. Problem is that she won't allow me to get physical; always making excuses. She complains about me to my mom and grandfather. Under depression, she mentioned that she'd commit suicide. Despite this, I am trying to make this marriage work. I'm dejected and cannot concentrate on work and all. Should I break it up with her. Is this a passing phase? 

Santosh

Dear Santosh,

What makes you think she still isn't pining for the one she loves? In fact, she can't made it any more clearer from her actions than she already has. Her timing makes her purpose unmistakable.

My point is, if she wasn't happy being stuck in a marriage against her will, you gave her the option to walk free. It does no-one any good if she continues in this realtionship with you. You've received nothing but hostility from her and for no fault of yours.

In fact, somewhere deep down, I think she still hasn't forgetten the one she loved. Talk to her one last time and insist that she has to be actively participating in making this marriage work. If she doesn't care if you're depressed because she's sad, I don't think you should.

He says he's 'stuck' with me!

Dear Diana,

My boyfriend doesn't think I'm too attractive and is only with me because we've been friends forever. He keeps joking that he can't dump me because he'd die if he broke my heart. Should I take his jokes seriously? I don't want him to be with me if he doesn't want to. Do you think he's joking?

Janice

Dear Janice,

It's difficult to say. You haven't provided me with much details. All I can say is, he seems like a decent enough chap and he's quite fond of you.

He says these things because he sees you as a friend first and because you share a close relationship with him, one that supersedes romantic love.

If he has to break up with you, you'll know for sure when it happens. For now, it just seems like he's joking. Take it easy.

All work, no romance...

Dear Diana,

For nine months, my desire for a colleague grew out of bounds.We'd never speak to each other because there was no official reason to. I felt she had some feelings for me. Finally, two months back, I proposed to her during office hours. I have received no clear reply since. I had told her that I wanted to speak about something personal. She insisted that she'd only speak to me about anything concerned with work and nothing else. She earns more than I do. Is that the reason why she won't say yes. Should I take up another job? I can't deal with a broken heart.

Tawang

Dear Tawang,

I don't think deep pockets (or the lack of it) is the problem here. I think she's simply not interested in you. Either that, or she's serious about keeping her work life and her romantic life separate.

If she had to say something she'd hav esaid something. She isn't weighing her options. I don't think she really cares. Move on from her. Idon't think there's any future with her.

Of course, if you're getting a better offer, money-wise and work-wise, I thnik you should take it. Don't do it just because you want your broken heart to heal.