Illustration/sameer pawar

Dear Diana,
I met this guy online while chatting a year and a half ago. It seemed to me that he was very genuine. He'd send me poems he'd written. He proposed but before that he told me that he is a married NRI but his wife left him after spending 18 months together in the US. I trusted him completely and accepted his proposal and rejected all the proposals my parents got me. My parents refused to accept our relationship as his divorce hasn't come through as yet and because he's diabetic and needs insulin injections everyday. He also stammers. I never loved him for his appearance anyway and that was never a problem. When he came to India to meet my parents, they asked him to wait till the divorce come throught or else put some money in my name , so that if anything happens in the future, I could be safe legally. At the time, he outrightly said he had no money. Before the meeting, I told him very clearly that whatever my parents' decision, I'd stand by him. He started avoiding me saying that he wanted his court case to end. Was I wrong about him. Why did he do this to me? Sometimes I think that what ever happened is for my good. My mother says his wife must've left him for a good reason. I am a simple God-fearing girl. Please help me.
A Helpless Girl

Dear Friend,
While I agree with your mother that you ought to wait until his divorce proceedings are completed and that legal hassles could put you in a spot were you to reside overseas, it is even more unsettling when he says he has no money. How does he expect to provide for you? If he's good at writing poems, it only indicates that he has an artistic bent of mind. Whether he has any other physical abnormalities is besides the point. What ought to matter is if you know full well what you're getting yourself into. I wouldn't say he's completely misunderstood, just that you ought to wait it out a bit.

I desperately wanna walk away
Dear Diana,
I've been married three years and have a year-old child. I am not happy with my marriage. After just eight days of marriage he started beating me up and made my life a living hell. I've been waiting for the right time to walk away from the marriage. I've fallen for someone I knew since college. We want to get married but my husband is not willing to divorce me and is threatening me with dire consequences if I try to. I've already given him three years to change and have lost all hope. I desperately want to divorce my husband.
Tina D' Souza

Dear Tina,
If you've been a long-suffering victim of domestic abuse, you should've thought of leaving him much earlier. You have given him all the chances to change. He blew it. Don't bother about him. Walk away. Move on to a new life after the divorce. Don't take his threats seriously. As a precaution though, get a restraining order from the cops. Warn him that if anything were to happen to you or your friend, he'd be held responsible and that you'd make an affidavit to that effect. He doesn't deserve you.s

He chooses to ignore me!
Dear Diana,
As mentioned earlier, I fell for a colleague. You suggested I flirt for some time. But I am very honest. The guy is so simple,disciplined and honest that I have fallen for his sincerity.I want to ask you how is it that even if a person is married, that his attention is diverted to all those things. I want to control my urges but cannot. Besides he is not easily approachable and doesn't open up much. Also I go speechless in his presence.
Asha

Dear Asha,
Don't throw away something that is for something that could be. He isn't even showing any interest. So let it go. Maybe, if in time, these feelings don't go away; he may be in a position to say that he knows you better as a person and a friend and will not choose to ignore you. Don't fret or fume but give your marriage a chance. Abit of harmless flirting won't hurt, but a full-blown affair will, remember that.