Dear Diana,

I'm from Bangalore and have been in love with a girl, a CA by profession, for the past year. We were great together. But I still don't understand what possessed her to leave me and go back to her hometown. It's surprising... we were very happy with our love life... She has completely cut off contact with me. How do I get her back into my life? There were no problems in our relationship before she left.

Tabrez Alam

Dear Tabrez,

What's stopping you from going all the way to her hometown to figure out what provoked her to up and leave without an explanation or a forwarding address? Sometimes, things happen when we least expect them, leaving us with interminable questions, endless speculations and such.

The most obvious solution thereon is to do some soul-searching and getting relevant replies from the person that left you to begin with. So what if her phone's switched off, or she isn't responding to her emails, you can make the effort to seek her out, no?


I want her to settle down in life...

Dear Diana,

I'm 43, married and have one child, I've been having an affair with an unmarried  colleague aged 32 for the past nine years. I love her very much but cannot marry her. I want her to marry, settle down and be happy in life but she isn't ready to. I don't know what to do. My only wish is that she should settle down. At the same time, I can not work without her in the office. Please guide me!

One Helpless Male

Dear Friend,

How would you react if asked to end a nine-year affair? She has grown fond of you and probably feels secure around you. The very thought of settling down with someone else unsettles her.

You cannot marry her but she cannot see a life beyond you. You have to understand that for her to outgrow you, she has to remain apart from you.


I wanna be a close friend to her...

Dear Diana,

A girl came into my life and she has changed everything in it. I want to be close to her. She talks to me but that's about it. I want to make her a very close friend, but sometimes when I call her on the cellphone, she disconnects my call or there's a busy tone. What should I do?

Joseph

Dear Joseph,

So what if you couldn't get through her cellphone, surely you could tell her in person? If you want to be with someone that bad, the least you could do is to tell that person so ( of course, not in so many words and of course, without freaking them out).

Besides, you are not the only person she knows in the world and might have just decided to call her at a time when she was talking to someone far more important in her life. If you love her, tell her.