Dear Diana,

Before marrying my husband, I had been rejected by three guys as I am ugly (very dark in complexion). My husband approved this marriage because he was heartbroken when his love affair of six years ended, and also because my dad paid a HUGE dowry. But my married life was no bed of roses. He always ignored me and never cared for me. Basically I am a very loving and down to earth person. I tried as much as I could to win his love. Now even after eight years of marriage and two kids, nothing has improved. He still behaves same with me.  Though I have changed my outlook and improved a lot on my clothes and dressing style, I can do nothing about my dark skin. I feel that I am only in this marriage for sex and to take care of kids. I feel frustrated inside but can't leave this marriage because of my kids and the love I have for my husband. Is love skin-deep?

Radhi

Dear Radhi,

Don't complain about the guy if you're going to take up for him and defend him nevertheless. It's really stupid to go cry to someone about how frustrated you are when you refuse to do anything about it. You made a big mistake by giving dowry and I hope you know that.

You tried your best at making your marriage work, while your husband sat back and did absolutely nothing. I'd say he did you no favours. Get a job, seek legal counsel, walk out on him and take your kids with you. And don't look back until he promises to change. For good.


Should they continue their extra-marital affair?

Dear Diana,

I have a best friend who is married and is in love with a close friend of hers. He is also married). She is confused. Please advise: should she continue the relationship or break it off and lead a normal life?

XYZ

Dear Friend,

If they can manage to keep it platonic, I don't see why they can't still be in love. Of course, if they let it affect their married life (that is, if there's any significant decrease in the attention they shower on their spouses), then there will be hell to pay.

Infidelity is wrong, but if you've already walked over to the dark side, there's no reason why you can't enjoy it while being smart.


Ignorance ain't bliss

Dear Diana,

I'm 16 and my crush is 15. I told her I have a crush on her. A few days later, she said the same to me. All this happened this July. I told her that we should concentrate on our careers. But I also made a mistake. I said to her, "I'm middle class, you're rich; I won't be able to take you on outings and give you gifts. Sounds disgusting I know but I need your help." She said she hates boys with such thinking and said she hates me. I didn't mail her for the next 21 days. She had started ignoring me. So I did the same. Now I've got her mail which says: Are you ignoring me or trying to? What's wrong with you? It's been a long time, na. Should I reply to her? After all, it was she who started ignoring me and I did because I was ashamed of what I said. Please help.

Ashish

Dear Ashish,

There are certain things one needs to understand while getting into a relationship. You do not make any undue demands or requests of the other. You do not take the other person for granted and say you're in it for the money (which, by the way, is what your sentence explicitly implies), that's a surefire reason for her to eject you out of her life. Of course, she'll be pissed off at you. Moreover, you're young.

So such tiffs are easily forgotten or glossed over until the next round presents itself. Reply to her and tell her that you're sorry that you said what you did and that you'd like to make a fresh start. I'm sure she'll be happy to give you a second chance.