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She's not as lovey-dovey as she was before the shaadi
Dear Diana,
Though I am almost twice her age, we bonded from the first day she came to work in my office four years ago. She knew I was married and I knew she was in love with a boy who ditched her and got married to another girl. We were best of friends. I was her pillar of strength. I supported her every way I could. We became so close that we kissed and hugged and fondled each other, but I never took advantage of her anytime (we never had sex). She got married last December. Her father is not so affluent. I spent almost Rs 2 lakh on her wedding so that she would be happy. After that, she has only spoken to me twice. She tells me not to call her because her husband might suspect her. She has changed so much. I want to see her but she tells me not to come to her
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Illustration/ Satish Acharya | house. I have met her husband before the wedding and he is aware I have helped her in many ways and that we are good friends. I feel lonely and hurt.
Mohnish M
Dear Mohnish
Seriously, what were you expecting her to do? For all the favours you did for her, did you expect anything in return? Were you going to up and leave your family to marry her? Don't you want to see her well-off and settled and not have any marital hiccups? Then why try and give her a hard time by expecting her to give you her time of day when things are volatile at home? In fact, I think you should let bygones be bygones and don't try and interfere in her life beyond a certain point. Nobody is cool with that!
I can't control myself!
Dear Diana,
I am married but my wife doesn't stay with me. Our gauna will only take place next year. Trouble is, I get aroused on seeing hot babes and barely control myself by watching porn. But that affects my health. I want to maintain my health. So what else can I do?
Bale Gupta
Dear Bale,
You'll have to exercise self-control for very obvious reasons. One, you cannot have multiple partners (outside of wedlock) not just because it's wrong but also because you run a very high risk of contracting STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). Watching porn and masturbating is a safe enough form of sexual release as long as it doesn't put the wrong ideas in your head. Also don't imitate everything you see. Masturbation doesn't affect your health. That's just a myth. Just maintain hygiene down there and you won't have to worry about a thing.
He's neglecting his studies...
Dear Diana,
My friend is 18 years old and is in love with a 30-year-old woman who has two kids. She loves him too but is scared of her husband. She believes he is onto them. She is also interested in having sex with my friend. Now, that's the only thing on his mind and he's neglecting his studies because of that and may also throw away a possibly better career in the bargain. I am worried for him. What can I do to stop him?
Sunny Singh
Dear Sunny,
It's good that you're looking out for your friend and have his best interests at heart. But isn't that his parents' job to teach him what's right and what's not? If he's not listening to good reason, I think it's high time you tip them off. An extra-marital affair is never an easy secret to maintain. He stands to lose a lot more than just dignity if caught. Try and convince him that what he feels for this woman is not love. He's infatuated with the idea of having sex with her and setting up a family with her, without realizing that he cannot possibly provide for her. He just needs a reality check.
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