Dear Diana,

I’m 32 and have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, but I have some trust issues. I dont think he’d cheat on me, it’s just that he tends to try and protect my feelings rather than tell me the truth, and that’s a little scary, for a couple of reasons. He has an ex-wife who is obsessed about my life with him, and constantly interrogates their 12-year-old son about me.

They used to message each other and I saw a couple of them. In one message, she said... “Well, if you’re only happy to a point, that’s not good, if you don’t love her, let her find someone that does. As his phone doesn’t save the messages he sent her, so I only know one side of the conversation. When I approached him about this, he denied talking to her about me; he says the only thing they talk about is their son.

Well, that’s a little hard to believe, I just don’t want him lying as it makes me suspicious. To add to the grief, he plays in a band, and girls being girls get too close. I saw an email he sent to a girl about  texting her, then I saw pictures on Myspace of another girl posing with his hat! My question is, am I losing it and making something out of nothing or should I've started running a long time ago?

Neeta

Dear Neeta,

Why don’t you just talk to him and tell himwhatever is on your mind. Remember, it may sound preachy but honesty is the best way to go. If he doesn’t have a satisfactory explanations for any or all of the above things then it’s not too late to begin running even now.

However, I would like to say that you need to seriously sit down and decide if you really want to work on this relationship or is there a part of you that wants to end it? Think about this carefully because I’ve seen that insecurity usually stems from doubts and second thoughts. May God bless you with a clear mind.

She’s rich, I’m poor

Dear Diana,

I’m 19 and I read your page everyday. So I am writing to you too. I am in love with an 18-year-old girl who knows that I love her, through one of my friends. Earlier I used to stay near her house, but now I live pretty far from there. I used to think of this as an infatuation but I just cannot forget her.  I think she has forgotten me. I’ve never proposed to her because she is from a rich family and I'm not. My problem is that her smile, her eyes, her face, always come in my mind and I forget everything happening around me. What do I do?

XYZ

Dear XYZ,

It’s not really clear whether you can communicate with her or not. Assuming that you can, at least start talking to her, maybe you can find out her email address and start a mail correspondence. You don’t need to forget her, become her friend first and then see where life takes you. Money cannot and will never be a problem. Life is long, you never know where it will take you.

My family is badmouthing me

Dear Diana

My parents have chosen a boy for me whom they like but I don’t, so I rejected him. Till now, everything was fine. Of late, I heard that my whole family is spreading a rumour that I have rejected that guy because I didn’t like the job he had. But that’s not exactly the reason why I refused him. His looks and his means of communication were also big factors. My family is huge and orthodox and they can never accept a girl rejecting a boy. They may even badmouth me all over the place. Please help me with what to do.

Sheena

Dear Sheena,

This is one of the pitfalls of refusing an arranged marriage proposal. The family always has something to say. I’m glad you took an informed decision about your life partner and that your parents are okay with it. In such cases, unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do. You can clear the air with the relatives that really matter to you, but beyond that you will have to get your blinkers on. Revel in the love and support of your family members who are standing by your side and leave the rest in God’s hands.