9 in 10 Indian men say wives refuse sex

Published: Nov 30, 2012, 11:08 IST | MiD DAY Correspondent |

Nationwide survey conducted by government body says husbands refuse to wear a condom and wives fear STDs, as they suspect extramarital affairs

'Not now, darling, I have a headache', is easily the most often 'no sex' phrase bandied around in popular culture. Now, there are statistics to prove it.

In a research conducted by the International Institute for Population Sciences (IIPS), based out of Govandi, a whopping 89 per cent of married men complained that their wives say no to sex. But there's a rider.

Sex and relationships, 9 in 10 Indian men say wives refuse sex

The women say no because their husbands refuse to wear a condom, which they feel is absolutely necessary to protect them from sexually transmitted diseases (STD).

Clearly, this means 89 per cent of women feel their husbands cheat on them.

The survey reveals the truth. One in 20 Indian married men have multiple affairs more than two sexual partners apart from their wives.

However, doctors in Mumbai believe that the number is far higher and the respondents may not have been entirely truthful.

The study has revealed that 5.3 per cent married men engaged in high-risk sex, which means having sex with more than two partners without using protection.

This survey, conducted for the first time by IIPS across India, had a sample size of 80,000 men.

Wife is justified
Hearteningly, 83 per cent say the wife is justified in asking them to use condoms.

S K Singh, a researcher with IIPS, said, "On one hand the National Family Health Survey portrays a very impressive picture of Indian men who believe that if a husband has a sexually transmitted disease, his wife is justified in refusing to have sex with him. Or have sex only if they wear a condom.

But the survey also throws up a picture that men are cheating their wives with more than two partners."

The IIPS is an autonomous institution administered by the ministry of health and family welfare. It also conducts a national family health survey every year on behalf of the government.

However, sexologists and psychiatrists believe that the number of men having multiple sex partners is higher than what the survey says and will only increase.

Anjali Chhabria, a psychiatrist, said, "Men want excitement and novelty. They experiment out of boredom and also want to feel young and desirable. The increasing number of cell phone usage helps them contact anyone easily."

Added Rajan Bhonsle, a sexologist, "Male sexuality is body-oriented and there is rarely emotional involvement. Therefore, there are multiple partners and I believe they are either colleagues or neighbours, as access is easier."

Agreeing with Bhonsle, Dr Rajiv Anand, sexologist and psychiatrist, said, "The survey may or may not be applicable to everyone, but the fact is men are always looking for something new and different."

Syed Husaini, a senior family court lawyer, said, "About 25 per cent of divorce cases at the Bandra family court is because spouses have extramarital affairs, in addition to cruelty and harassment.

But when such allegations are placed in court, only six per cent turn out to be true."

He gifted wife Rs 2.33 Crore for repeated infidelity

A cheating husband showered his wife with expensive jewellery every time he cheated on her, leading her to gather a collection worth almost Rs 2.33 crore (300,000 pounds).

Businessman Robert Charlton, from Leicester, UK, made up for breaking his wedding vows by gifting diamond jewels to wife Elizabeth, who was apparently aware of his extra-marital activities.

The unusual arrangement was said to have worked for the couple until Charlton passed away aged 63 in 1979.

Elizabeth, who allegedly told friends the gifts made it easier for her to forgive her husband, died in 2006, leaving her collection to their only child Marie.

98 per cent men say wives refuse to have sex

Case Study
Three months ago, 33-year-old Anita Sharma (name changed) approached a detective agency to spy on her husband who she felt was spending too much time talking on the phone.

The detective traced the husband to Alibag, necking with a former girlfriend and also dug up more extra-marital affairs that the man had been involved in before he was caught.

The couple had a seven-year-old child and so haven't divorced. 

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