A litre-bitter experience

Sep 17, 2011, 06:56 IST | Hemal Ashar

Some dark humour as petrol prices go up once again

Some dark humour as petrol prices go up once again

As petrol gets shocking closer to the Rs 100 for a litre mark, one is wondering

Whether Mumbai should have compulsory car free days?

Whether lovers will now lift cans of petrol at a dinner table on a date, look romantically into one another's eyes and purr: yeh jaam tere naam

Whether one would become a possible target for kidnapping and ransom if one goes to a petrol pump and tells the attendant,  "full tank please." 

Would Mumbai's new millionaires be gauged not on the amount of luxury cars in the garage but the number of litres in the fuel tank?

Would petrol prices touch Rs 100 a litre by the end of this year, itself?

Whether grandparents will read out fairy tales to their children about how petrol once cost Rs 10 a litre?

Whether it is time we switched to bicycles, performed padyatras, learn how to horse ride or even started commuting by tongas? 

Whether we should start seeing movies called, Victoria No 203 as an indicator that we may all have to start commuting by Victorias very soon?

Would banks start giving loans for petrol, instead of cars these days?

Whether Mumbai's former jockey Pesi Shroff would start training ordinary people in horse riding so that we can reach our destinations on horse back instead of vehicles these days?

Whether we would see a spate of petrol can robberies very soon?

Would there be a book written about the days when petrol cost Rs 5 a liter and be titled Fuel's Paradise?

Whether insurance companies would start offering 'petrol price insurance' where the common man is insured against cardiac arrest caused by petrol price hikes?

Similarly would hospitals open Intensive Care Units (ICU) for petrol price related illnesses soon?

Would Mumbai's beggars demand a litre a petrol from motorists at traffic signals?

Would investment experts advise people to buy up gallons of petrol instead of gold?

Whether artistes and actors who charge in crores will now demand to be paid in cans of petrol?

Whether we can hear people ask in the near future: are you paying by cash, cheque, credit card or petrol can?

Would Kaun Banega Crorepati offer prizes in cans of petrol and not cheque? 1 can for the first answer, 2 for the second and eventually a lifetime's supply of petrol to the eventual winner, with 'Srimati tiktikiji' counting the

Why one of our new age filmmakers does not make a movie, a real tearjerker as they are called, and title it: Gaadi Rula Rahi Hai?

Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?

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