'Afraid I'm losing my husband of 10 years'

Updated: May 11, 2020, 07:08 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Over the past year, however, he has developed this unhealthy fascination with a common friend of ours who recently became a widow.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been married for over ten years to a man who has been a great and loving husband. Over the past year, however, he has developed this unhealthy fascination with a common friend of ours who recently became a widow. He spends a lot of time speaking to her, and often goes out with her to movies or dinner. At first, I thought this was nice because he didn't want her to feel lonely. Lately though, it seems as if he has begun to have feelings for her. I don't want to ask him about it because it may convince him that he likes her but, at the same time, I feel as if this is going to tear us apart. I don't want to lose him, but don't know how to fix this. What if he is bored of being with me? Please help.
If the two of you have been married for over a decade, what stops you from asking him about this? You assume things are going wrong, assume he is bored of you, and assume he has feelings for this common friend, all without actually having a conversation about any of it? Marriages aren't healthy without communication, irrespective of whether there is a third person involved. If you don't want to lose him, why not start by telling him that?

My boyfriend is addicted to drugs and says he can't quit without my help. I don't know if I can deal with this because I don't have the skills to cope, but he refuses to see a professional. What should I do?
If he refuses to speak to a professional, it's obvious that he isn't as interested in quitting as he claims to be. You have to make this clear to him, explaining why you simply aren't equipped to manage. If this starts to affect your mental health, I suggest you do whatever you need to in order to protect yourself. One can't help anyone who doesn't want to do what it takes.

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