After years, friend says he loves me

Published: 11 December, 2019 06:24 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I do love my boyfriend, but should I give my friend a chance?

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have always had feelings for a guy who never really gave me any indication of reciprocating. I accepted the fact that he would never be mine and got into a relationship a year ago. My boyfriend recently proposed, saying he wanted to take this relationship to the next level. A week ago, this friend of mine told me he had always been in love with me and had just been afraid to express himself. I am torn because I don’t know what to do. I do love my boyfriend, but should I give my friend a chance? What if he is the one for me? I am very confused.

If you’re not sure about marriage, you are well within your rights to take as much time as you need. What you choose to do next should take into account what you’re looking for in a relationship though. Being with a friend may be great but may not work. At the same time, staying with your boyfriend will be difficult if you keep wondering about other possibilities. I suggest you take some time for yourself and evaluate the pros and cons of being with either one.

This is embarrassing for me, but I have been in a relationship with a married man for six months now. He has been thinking of getting a divorce because his marriage has been on the rocks for a few years. I don’t want to continue though, because I don’t like the idea of being partly responsible for the failure of his relationship. How do I tell him this without him thinking that I am abandoning him?

The two of you should be more honest about what this is, and how it has affected you. Adultery is never going to be easy, irrespective of how either of you choose to justify it. This is a difficult conversation for you both, but it is also inevitable. Speak to him without holding back.

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