Am attracted to boys and older women...

Updated: 04 November, 2020 07:38 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

They turn me on, and I can't stop staring at them. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I attracted to mature women?

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

I am a 21-year old boy and am strongly attracted to other boys of my age. They are only interested in girls, and I have no feelings towards girls of my own age at all. I get excited by older women who are above 30. They turn me on, and I can't stop staring at them. Is there something wrong with me? Why am I attracted to mature women?
— Mayur J
Human sexuality is a complicated thing, and we don't know why are built to find some people more attractive than others. There is nothing wrong with feelings for boys your own age, or mature women, because it's okay to like anyone. What matters is how you try and come to grips with your sexuality, and this is where speaking to a professional can do you a world of good. As you get older, it may be harder for you to find friends or family members who understand your sexual preferences, which is why getting the right kind of support is critical. I suggest you speak to a therapist who can help you make sense of what you are feeling. All you need to know is that it is perfectly normal to have conflicting desires at your age. To sort them out may take you time, but you will manage it eventually.

Is there anything wrong with a girl who doesn't want a committed relationship? My girlfriend doesn't want me to refer to her as my girlfriend, even though we have been together for over a year. I don't know what the problem is, but she is adamant, and it drives me insane. How do I understand or accept this if she can't explain what the problem is?
Maybe it will take her time to understand what she wants out of this. For now, if she is with you, why worry about what the label means? Give her time and space, respect her wishes, and hope that you can find some clarity in the future.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to

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First Published: 04 November, 2020 06:03 IST


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