Am I falling out of love with my man?

Updated: Oct 28, 2019, 09:43 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI met my boyfriend five years ago. We are of the same age. He had an emotional affair with a married woman who had a child and was separated from her husband. This affected our relationship for a long time, because he refused to cut ties with her. We broke up for around 6 months in 2016. When we got back together, he mentioned me to his parents, who have not approved of our relationship. We moved to Germany in 2018, after which I found out he had had emotional conversations and slept with his ex while we were separated. He is currently committed to me, but I cannot forget what he did. I burst into tears when no one is around. I haven't shared this with him. The lady continues to be in contact with him, although the frequency of messages has reduced. He talks to me freely now, but I have backed out from expressing many things. I don't understand if I am falling out of love with him. I only understand that I need help. I was divorced too, when my boyfriend wasn't in the picture, but he never brings up my past. What can I do?
— Sowjanya
Your feelings are all perfectly valid, because it does sound as if you have been through a lot of ups and downs. What does stand out is your awareness that you need help, because your boyfriend's relationship with his ex still causes you some kind of trauma. Your ex-husband and his ex-girlfriend are no longer in either of your lives, and haven't been for years. What matters is your present, and whether you both want a future together. If you do, it is important that you address these concerns and serious trust issues before they affect your relationship. Try and be honest with your boyfriend and consider therapy with a professional. Either way, this is something you need to discuss with someone trained to talk about it.

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