Am I his girlfriend or just a friend?

Updated: 19 November, 2020 07:22 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He treats me like his girlfriend and tells me about his life. He is affectionate, kind, and caring. At the same time, he always insists that we are not in a serious relationship because he doesn't want one.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

I am a 31-year old woman and have been friends with a 34-year old guy for years. He treats me like his girlfriend and tells me about his life. He is affectionate, kind, and caring. At the same time, he always insists that we are not in a serious relationship because he doesn't want one. I'm not sure what this means and where I stand with him, because it seems as if we are a good couple and he is in denial. I am very fond of him and don't want to lose him. I can't just be around all the time though, because it feels as if I am someone he now takes for granted. How can I resolve this?
It's not a nice feeling, and you have a right to point that out. If you want something specific from this and he doesn't, it's obvious that things can't continue the way they have been. Tell him what your expectations are and find out what he means by a serious relationship. If neither of you is happy with the way things are, and unwilling to change what you expect, this won't work for very long. The sooner you have this chat, the better it will be for your friendship.

This is a weird question, but my girlfriend always calls me a miser and I was wondering how much one is expected to spend on one's partner. I am careful with my salary and always allocate a fixed sum for dining out and entertainment, but she spends a lot more and says I am always stingy. This isn't a problem, but it is starting to annoy me because I don't agree with her. What should I do?
Financial issues can undermine a relationship if they aren't talked about. You are both right to think about what should or shouldn't be spent on your partners, because it's your money. I suggest you explain how you allocate funds, and what your priorities are, so she understands you a little better.

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First Published: 19 November, 2020 04:03 IST

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