Am I putting my career before love?

Published: Nov 21, 2019, 06:19 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Recently, I was given an opportunity to work in another country for a period of two years

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI am a 30-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a 32-year old guy for 6 years now. We have no plans to marry but have always assumed we will live together. Recently, I was given an opportunity to work in another country for a period of two years. It's a great promotion, but it will mean moving out and living on my own. My boyfriend wants me to reconsider, because he thinks this will ruin our relationship, but I am not so sure. Should I give this up just to be with him? I love him, but I want to make some progress in my career, too. I am confused and don't know what to do.

There is no reason why you should sacrifice one for the other. Your boyfriend may have valid reasons for being afraid of this not working, but neither of you will know if this will fail without giving it a shot. Talk to him about why you believe this is good for your career, try and address doubts he may have by explaining why you think this will work, and consider a compromise that involves visits in between. Millions of people have successful long-distance relationships and just because they are hard doesn't mean they are impossible to maintain.

I cheated on my partner and don't know how to stop doing this. The relationship I have on the side is beginning to consume me. I want to stop but can't because I know my partner will leave me if she finds out. How do I get out of this?

There's nothing you can do except try and come clean. You want to stop cheating, but don't want to pay the price for your actions. This isn't something you can avoid unless you choose to lie, and would you have a relationship that isn't built upon the truth? Tell your partner what you did and face the consequences. To delay this will only make things worse.

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