Am insecure about my boyfriend's exes

Updated: May 06, 2020, 04:49 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know I should focus on our current relationship, but I am constantly in a state of anxiety because I think he will find someone and go away

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI can't seem to accept the fact that my boyfriend has had more sexual partners than I have. He has been in a number of relationships, which shouldn't bother me, but does. We have been together for two years now, and I am still insecure about him leaving because of the number of girls he has been with. I know I should focus on our current relationship, but I am constantly in a state of anxiety because I think he will find someone and go away. How do I cope with this? I am afraid he will start to get tired of my constant obsession with his past.

You may simply have to take this one step at a time. You are aware of how you feel, and why it is unreasonable to hold his past against him. You are also right about the need to focus on the present, because the fact is, he is with you and has been for two years now. There is nothing you can do to control how you feel if you are anxious about something but speaking about this and trying to explain it to him may help. If he thinks you are obsessed with his past, give him a chance to tell you how he feels about you. All relationships have the potential to end, so you can't control that aspect of it. What you can control is your role in this relationship and do what it takes to strengthen it. If he does the same thing and pulls his weight, neither of you should have anything to worry about.

I wanted to surprise my parents with some information about my boyfriend, and my best friend went ahead and told them this behind my back. Should I stop speaking to her?

If she is your best friend, she may have had a reason or simply did something unknowingly. Why not give her a chance to explain, tell her why you are hurt, and then decide what you want to do?

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