Booked! What England team players could name their books...

Mar 10, 2014, 08:24 IST | Kersi Meher-Homji

A tongue-in-cheek view on what England’s skipper Alastair Cook's Test specialists could title their books this summer...

Sydney: You must be wondering what some of the thrashed English Test cricketers did in February? They were whitewashed 0-5 in the Ashes and thrashed 1-4 in the one-day internationals in the Australian season.

Did they practice in the nets like men possessed before the Caribbean tour which has commenced? There was a big argument as to what they should do in three weeks between the tours to Australia and the West Indies. Their coaches (batting, bowling, fielding and captaincy) were all for practicing at the nets morning, noon and night.
But the team psychiatrist was against it.

“The team should be away from playing cricket for some time. “They should relax and try to do something creative, like writing their autobiographies on the forgettable tour down under.

Mental demons
“This is the only way they can get rid of their mental demons and perform better in the Caribbean and then against Sri Lanka and India in England.” The psychiatrist won. Even those who have retired / semi-retired since the Australian tour were encouraged to write their memoirs to calm their nerves and get rid of their I suggested the following ones
to them:

. How Mitch cooked our goose by Captain Cook

. Trotting my batting back home by Jonathan Trott

. It rings a bell by Ian Bell

. My swan song by Graeme Swann

. Back to my roots by Joe Root

. A broadside at my booers by Stuart Broad

. My priorities in front and behind the stumps by Matt Prior... and, the most inspired one, I am the greatest by Kevin Pietersen.

Now that they have won the ODI series in the Caribbean, they should flourish as writers come the Test matches, assures the team psychiatrist.

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