Boyfriend seems happy if I am in pain

Published: Nov 18, 2019, 06:27 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I thought of asking him why my pain gave him pleasure but didn't because I thought it would sound strange

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

My boyfriend and I seem to get along quite well, but I have noticed something strange about him. Whenever something bad happens to me, he seems to celebrate it. If I have a bad day, it makes him happy for reasons that don't make sense. He is not very obvious with his reaction, of course, but I can definitely sense it very often. I thought of asking him why my pain gave him pleasure but didn't because I thought it would sound strange. Am I over-thinking this? I don't feel like telling him about my life sometimes, because anything that isn't positive only seems to cheer him up. Isn't this strange behaviour?

If something bothers you, there really is no point bottling it up. Effective and open communication alone can help eliminate any doubts or issues that tend to take on a life of their own if they aren't addressed early. I can't comment on whether or not your boyfriend takes pleasure in your pain, because you alone are in a position to evaluate that. I do think you should speak to him about how you feel though, if only to avoid any possible misinterpretation of his actions. Just ask him.

I have been dating this guy for a few months now and recently met his ex-girlfriend at a party. We chatted for a bit and I found out that they had ended their relationship because he had been abusing her. This came as a shock to me because he has never behaved badly with me. I thought of asking him about it but didn't because I want to wait and see if his behaviour towards me changes. This has affected the way I look at him though, because I no longer trust him or take what he says at face value. What should I do?

There are always two sides to every story, and accepting one side while ignoring the other doesn't seem like a sensible thing to do.

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