Boyfriend's anger ruining everything

Published: Jan 24, 2020, 05:12 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

When this happens, he gets extremely angry and says the nastiest things

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been dating someone for a year now, and we seem to get along quite well except when he gets angry. He likes things done a certain way, and I have my own approach to things that don't necessarily match his own. When this happens, he gets extremely angry and says the nastiest things. I don't know why he suddenly turns into someone I don't recognise, but I feel as if things have to be done his way alone or not at all. This is wrong, and I am thinking of breaking up with him. Should I? Or am I just being too finicky?

There is nothing finicky about wanting to be treated with respect. If your partner is being nasty, it is disrespectful. There is no other way of seeing it or sugar-coating his behaviour. Successful relationships involve two people who value each other's opinions as well as manage to arrive at a compromise that takes their individual likes and dislikes into account. That doesn't seem to be the case here. To impose his way over everything at the cost of your own preferences is a recipe for disaster. I suggest you tell him why this is important to you and discuss the possibility of ending it if he can't accommodate your wishes.

Two years after being with someone, I found out that he had been dating another woman all this time. I feel like a fool, because I didn't even suspect anything. When I confronted him, he apologised for weeks and has promised never to do this again. Should I give him another chance?

That is entirely up to you. Forgiveness is always difficult and shouldn't be taken lightly. This isn't an easy thing to forgive either, given that your entire relationship appears to have been built upon a lie. It's your call, of course, but I suggest you ask family and friends for some advice before accepting his apology.

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