Boyfriend's ex blames me for their break-up

Updated: Apr 15, 2019, 08:40 IST | Dr Love | Mumbai

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Dr LoveMy boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. We have our ups and downs, but nothing that makes this relationship difficult. What does cause some serious problems is the presence of his ex-girlfriend. She has never been able to get over him, and blames me for the fact that their relationship ended, even though I had nothing to do with it. In fact, we got together over three months after he broke up with her, but that doesn't seem to change her mind about this being my fault. She doesn't want to accept any responsibility for her own actions. She constantly says nasty things about me on Facebook, tags my boyfriend on photographs of the two of them, puts up abusive messages on his wall blaming me, and we have even seen her at restaurants while we are out on a date, which makes me believe she follows us. It's all frightening at times, because I don't know what she is capable of. My boyfriend thinks she is harmless, because he says he knows her very well, but I don't know how to cope with this. What should I do?
It does sound like a scene out of a bad film, but I can imagine it isn't amusing for you at all. There are a few things you can consider, starting with cutting her out of your social media profiles given how she misuses their freedom. Abusing someone online is not okay, and your boyfriend needs to understand that too and think about whether he needs to be friends with her. Another option is to simply have him talk to her and get these misunderstandings out of the way, allowing her to air her grievances while getting the message that this sort of harassment doesn't help anyone. Lastly, you always have the law on your side, especially in instances where you feel genuinely threatened. She needs to know that this is not okay, so speak to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel.

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