Can a long-distance romance work?

Updated: Jun 19, 2020, 04:19 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I am serious about him too, and think we have a future together

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI have been in a relationship with a guy from another country for two years now. He came here on a work assignment and we hit it off immediately. We have been in love for a while and he has been asking me if I want to take this relationship to the next level. I am serious about him too, and think we have a future together. The problem is his contract expires in a few months and he intends to return to his country. I don't want to join him because this is my home. He says we can try a long-distance relationship. What should I do?

There's nothing you can do if neither of you refuses to make some sort of compromise. A long-distance relationship is possible but, as you point out, it doesn't really go anywhere if you are both always living apart. You should talk about what you are both willing to sacrifice for the possibility of being together, and accept that you may have to give up on this relationship if neither of you can make that shift to your partner's home.

As a newlywed, I expected to have more sex with my partner but that has not happened, and I am starting to feel unloved and unwanted. Does this mean my marriage is doomed?

No, it simply means you and your partner will have to try and understand each other's physical needs and desires better. This doesn't happen overnight. It requires a certain amount of trust, open channels of communication, and the ability to discuss what works for you both. Your partner may have insecurities or misunderstandings that will take a while to sort out. Why not be patient about this, focus on what made you both decide to be with each other, and assume that this will sort itself out in a while? If the problem persists after a few months, you can always consider speaking to a professional.

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